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Who did you allow to see you in the hospital after you had your baby?

I've been thinking about this, and I don't really want people there. I want My DH, Mom, and sister. Thats all! My DH's family... god! His siblings are completely out of control and loud and wild. and His mother Smokes her brains out. I refuse to let a smoker hold my Baby, or even be around him. the smell of cigarettes completely makes me sick right now I can imagine my poor baby being held and suffocated by the smell of it off her clothes... ugh! Absolutely NOTTTTTTT! How would you go about this and who did you let come visit you?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • with my dd alot of ppl came, my dh's sister, my brother & his wife, mil and fil, dh's grandmother, 3 of my co workers, my sister, my mom & dad and my aunt and her boyfriend

    with ds all that came was dh's sister & brother in law, my brother, mil, fil and my parents

    i felt lonley the 2nd time around,
    but the difference with me & you is that i like my inlaws
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 12:16 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I only had visitors with my first child. My husband's whole family showed up and I didn't know how to tell them to stay out because I had a c-section and just wanted to sleep. On the last day the nurse told me I could have said something, they would have slapped a "do not disturb" sign on the door and been the bad guys to keep them all out. And they were friends of my mil who worked at the hospital (I was the only person in the maternity ward at the time...small town hospital).
    With my other 3 the only visitors I had were my husband and other kids so it was never an issue. No one even attempted to come see me or call or anything. It's like I didn't exist.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:16 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I had a c-section with the first and my hubby was with me of course, the next day my in-laws came, my mom and dad were battling an illness at the time so they waited. With my twins they were premies and I was only in the hospital over night. They could only have visitors other than parents on Saturdays so that's when my in-laws came, and my parents. I think it scarred my mom alot.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:38 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • We live really far from our families, so this was kind of a non-issue for us. With my 1st I had my husband, my best friend (who was also there for the birth), and 1 other friend who stopped by for 10 minutes. With #2 I had my husband, my mom, and my daughter (#1) and that was it. All of our friends waited until we were home, which I appreciated. My in-laws came to visit after my mom left, so we had almost a month before they showed up the 1st time and 2 weeks the 2nd.
    If you're worried about how to tell your in-laws that they are not welcome, have the nurses do it - they make good "bad guys" and can be frank with your MIL about the smell of cigarette smoke w/o it making you "mean". . . . . if they are going to be traveling long distances to get there, however, you might want to warn them in advance - maybe blame it on the swine flu and say that hospital policy says to keep visitors to a minimum.
    TiffanyMarie80

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 12:40 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • haha.. well sounds like this may be a battle for a while, not just in the hospital!! I let BOTH our sides of the family it - Just made sure they washed thier hands.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:00 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • The upside of having visitors in the hospital is that you can ask the nurses to protect you and limit visits.

    With my first we were away from family and friends didn't intrude. Even after two weeks I really didn't want to see anyone.

    My second was a homebirth and we had the ILs over the second day.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 1:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I only had my husband and the new baby. I live far from family though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Well people acted like I was giving birth to the chosen one! So everyone came in. Grandparents, Greatgrandparents, coworkers - yes I know, Dh's siblings, friends..... LoL I guess pretty much everyone in our social circle. And those who couldnt make it were visiting the day I got home. THATS EXACTLY WHAT ONE NEEDS AFTER AN EMERGENCY C-SECTION.
    As for you OP, people are going to want to visit the new baby you need to accept that this child is realted to them even if you don't like them
    Supervane

    Answer by Supervane at 1:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • We didn't call anyone and tell them the baby was here until we left. She popped out, I took a shower, we left about 16 hours later. THEN we called people. It's perfectly fine to wait until you can sit down without being in pain to accept visitors.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 1:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Was different with each child cuz I was in a different city with each of them.
    The consistent one was my husband, of course. I had a couple of friends stop by to say HI but they didnt stay long.

    My family doesnt live close enough to have bothered coming by the hospital so I never worried about that.

    Invite who you want and if others dont like it....tough!
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:53 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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