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How would you handle this?

My 3 yr old son saw a very deformed man in Toys R Us and exclaimed (loudly) "Mommy, Monster". I said to my son "No, honey, that is a man" and looked at the man and apologized. I was so embarrassed. I tried to explain to my son afterwards that not all people look the same but I really think he's a bit too young to grasp that concept. Any suggestions on what I could have done differently?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • I have told my girls that if they want to say something about people they see, they are to whisper it to me. It is just a rule and they are good about following that. Then we are able to have a conversation about it without everyone knowing about it.


    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 2:37 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I agree with devilln... but under the circumstances you did fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I think you did okay with your son. I have a son living with autism, and on occasion, we hear "why is that kid doing that?" when he flaps his hands or hums. If the parent is nearby, I tell them that my son has autism, and it's okay that their child doesn't understand about my son. What upsets me and DH is when we get rude behavior from adults. You'd think they would know better!

    Answer by Robsmommy at 4:16 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • It sounds like you did a good job talking to your child. There are lots of books about differences for kids. Get some books and read them to your child and discuss them. Show your child that you are different from him. All people are different. Some have brown eyes or blue eyes. Some have blonde or red hair. Some are tall, short, white, black or brown. Some wear glasses and some don't. MOST people with disabilities are ok when the comments or questions come from KIDS, it is an issue when it is an adult making rude and ignorant comments. Teach your child that it is ok to be different.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:55 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • The kid is just 3, they don't know, but try to explain. My 4 year old saw a woman in Family dollars, and the woman's head was shaking out of control, and my niece said why is she shaking her head like that?I told her the woman is sick with a disease called parkinsons. They don't know, they're young, we have to just tell them to whisper.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 8:33 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • kids say the darndest things the other day in wal-mart a big fat man was riding one of those cart things and my little man (4) looked at me so innocent and said "mommy I feel sorry for that man, dont you feel sorry for him too?" I didnt look back at the man to see if he heard him but I told him that that was sweet of him to say that and not be mean and call him fat (of course the man didnt hear me) You did a good job at least you apologized and didnt just walk away.

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:32 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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