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Cry it out??

My son is 7 months old, he has co-slept with me until now. Me and my husband are at odds with this. I really am having a hard time with allowing him to cry it out. Has anyone tried this method, did it work?? Any other suggestions other then crying it out??

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Nov. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • When putting kids to bed, no matter what age, you should expect crying every time at least until they come to realize that it is bed time and nothing they do is going to change it. I know no other way besides putting baby/child in bed (have a ritual if you'd like, sometimes makes it easier) and leave the room (close the door, leave it cracked, whatever you prefer). The important thing is to be consistant when it comes to bedtime. Don't back down and when you leave the room don't go back in (once is fine in the beginning to remind them that it is bedtime not playtime and when they wake up they can play, you love them, etc; then leave immediately) or if there is an emergency.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • So say they wake in the middle of the night? He normally doesn't wake for a feed, should I let him cry himslef back to sleep??

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • If he wakes to be fed then feed him; If he wakes for another reason you should still tend to him, comfort him and then tell him it's still bedtime and you love him. When he's older he may wake for a drink of water or to potty, but always put him back in bed until in the morning and the more awake he becomes the harder it will be to get him to fall back asleep so try to make it quick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • CIO is's not sleep training. It's teaching your baby that you won't be there when they cry. My husband and I went through this very same problem with our first. She was a year old, still cosleeping and nursing and none of us were sleeping well, not even the baby. My husband listened to a bunch of his stupid coworkers and told me we were going to do CIO, I refused. I did research and settled on the Ferber method. To do it right you must buy the book and read it. There is a lot of misinformation on the internet about the Ferber method, so doing a Google search won't help.

    The book is called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" and it's by Dr. Richard Ferber. If you stick with the method it works very well.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:13 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • There's middle ground! The first anon is wrong. I know plenty of moms whose babies have never cio and who sleep great. Mine are two of them. We started cosleeping with the first, and transitioned her at 18ish months to a double bed. Zero crying. Hubby slept with her for a few days, then stayed till she fell asleep for a few days, then said night night and left. Worked for her.

    Our little one moved from our bed to a crib around 9 months. No cio. I would nurse her until she was asleep, and lay her down. When she woke up at night, I repeated. After a week or so, she was sleeping 4 hour stretches. Then, I started not nursing her in the middle of the night, but going to her and rubbing her back, etc. She settled really quick, and within a few weeks was sleeping through the night. Never left her alone to cry.

    I agree with Ferber's method being misunderstood. Even if you don't cio, he has good info.

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:28 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I Have and yes... it worked.. it is NOT neglect and that is a very very close minded statement. I tried 7 different methods to get my son to sleep. He was colic for 5 months, 14 hours a day so he never developed the ability to self sooth and get to sleep on his own and was only sleeping a daily total of maybe 6 hours. Sleep study came back with this information also and he with this litte of sleep, it would soon start affecting development. He HAD to cry it out. period. Some babies - like my son... HAVE to - I spent Months and months trying the other methods and finally at 8 months old I caved and BAM...he was sleeping through the night and his mood improved but I also researched a TON about CIO... it is NOT neglect but there are tons of other methods you can try ALSO or first. Healthy sleep habits happy child was a great tool with TONS of methods and approaches and its super quick read too!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 9:37 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I am honestly on the fence about this one. My 5 month old sleeps in a crib in his own room now (for about a month or more now). However, my main issue with CIO at such a young age is that we teach them that when they cry, someone will come and care for them. This is what we do when the are hungry, or scared, or hurt, or need a clean diaper, etc. Now all of the sudden we want them to just be quiet and sleep in a dark room all by themselves. I think there is an age when kids need to learn to go to bed without assistance. I'm just not sure what age I think that should be. I will probably NOT CIO my child. I know people say it works, but I think it's confusing and emotionally hurtful to the child. YOU have to decide for yourself what you think is best. Of course, I would also talk to your child's doctor. He's only 7 months and used to sleeping next to you. It's a scary thing to have to sleep alone. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I hate the term self soothe. It was invented to let mothers feel less guilty about not answering their kids cries. Crying is NOT soothing. Crying revs up the body. I do not want my child crying until she is so exhausted she falls asleep from the crying. That is not soothing. Children should learn to relax themselves to sleep. My girls have never cried themselves to sleep, and they both sleep great.

    Before I had kids, the most defining moment of how I wanted to NOT parent was listening to a 3 year old scream himself to sleep. The mom's answer? "He has to cry himself to sleep at night - it's how he's always done it." It disturbed me so much. I said then and there I'd never let my kids cry to sleep. I'm sure it works great, I hear about how great it works, but then I see those same parents post about how they've had to repeat it over and over because the kid starts night waking again for a different reason.

    Answer by apexmommy at 10:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I told my dh that unless he intended to get up at night with the baby, I would co-sleep until I wanted to do otherwise. We co-slept with the first for 2yrs (until I was too pregnant to sleep with him comfortably) and the second for 3yrs.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 10:43 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Personally I would try the No Cry Sleep Solution before CIO. Actually I would NEVER do CIO,but that is just me. the No Cry Sleep Solution worked great for us with 2 kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

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