Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


My fiance came home late from work acting weird so I went to my cellphone acct. and looked at the recent calls on the cell I got for him in MY NAME and I pay for. His other kids moms house # came up 4 times in 3 hrs. We saw her in the store last night so I figured she would call his boss to talk to him(like always). When I asked him if he had talked to her at all he looked me straight in the face and lied to me. I do understand that they have children together and they do need to talk but, he doesn't need to lie to me about... that just makes it worse. We have enough trust issues as it is and this makes it really hard for me to trust him with anything. Has anyone else had this issue with a SO with children from another woman? If so how did you handle it? Please no negative responses... I don't need peoples critisim, just advice.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Yikes! Don't marry someone who can look you straight in the face and lie like it wasn't anything. You'll only get hurt in the long run.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Maybe he talked to the kids?? Don't jump to conclusions the only thing you will get is sore feet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • are you sure he wasnt talking to his children? I only ask becuase I have seen this with my SIL she and her soon to be EX now live in seperate states the kids call their dad all the time and his new live in girlfriend freaks out everytime the number comes up thinking he is talking to my SIL. To make things worse the new girlfriend has also called and cussed out my 8 y/o neice for calling her father.

    Kids miss their dads and most moms who are still on decent terms with the dad will let their kids call frequently.

    I would say first make sure he is lying, it is very possible he never talked to her, maybe one of thekids is having a hard time and he was upset by it. If you find out he really was talking to her then by all means let him have it I would :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • If he was talking to the kids then why would he lie about it? If he was even talking to her ABOUT the kids then why lie? Somethings not right about that.

    Answer by Blueliner at 2:56 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Maybe he didn't talk to her. She very well could have called and he didn't answer. Or maybe one of his kids called. You know, maybe something happened and right now he just doesn't want to deal with it. You never know, maybe she called for something crazy and he just wants to let it simmer before stressing you out too. Unless you are engaged to Captain Dumbass, he would not be using a phone in your name that you can check, to cheat.

    Answer by OneToughMami at 3:03 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I'm quite sure he didn't talk to his kids... one's 3 with Autism and doesn't talk or have the patience to be talked to on the phone and one is a month old

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • nothing is wrong with the girls, I KNOW that,he would have told me. The problem is she is mentally unstable and she wants him back only to kick him out and take his kids away...AGAIN. She holds his girls over his head and CONSTANTLY throws them in his face. She refuses to get a job and told him to his face that she only wants his money and she got pregnant the second time to keep him around and to stay on welfare. Just because she saw him in the store with me last night she felt the need to walk by and tell him that he was not going to get the month old this weekend which is his weekend with them. She randomly messages me on myspace running her mouth calling me all sorts of things, I print them out and put them in a folder and delete the messages. then she calls his mom and gives her this sob story making me look like the bad guy. I'm trying to make my relationship work with my childs father and she keeps tryin to fuck it up

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Did you call him out on his lie? It's a very bad sign that he lied about it, and it should be adressed. I'd be upset if my Dh was talking to his own mother then lied to me about it... a lie is a lie and it's impossible to have a relationship without trust.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • So he has a one month old baby, but you're engaged to him?!?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I don't know why he would lie to you about talking to her, especially if he is over her and moved on with his life, and has a new life with you. Maybe she was calling him and trying to start drama and bad-mouthing you? Maybe he lied cause he was trying to protect you and did not want you to have to hear her latest drama and crap?
    I do think you should sit him down and talk to him, tell him that you have the call record and ask him why he felt he had to lie. Tell him that it hurt you when he lied and you would like to know the truth.
    I hope it all works out -good luck.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:01 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.