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How do you deal with your child's little meltdowns without have one yourself and keeping your cool?

I have a almost 3 year old and the constant NO's and now back talk and attitude from the little one can wear on you. And although you WANT to slap them or something YOU DON'T but I also don't want to dismiss the behavior as okay. How do you deal with out loosing your cool. Cause right now I'm clenching my teeth and praying she gets the better since to stop before I ERUPT. Not saying i'd hurt her just won't be so cool headed. Would love to her some in site so she won't cause my dentist to fuss for my ground down teeth?


Asked by amommy2a2yrold at 10:23 AM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • I have a three year old and when he starts screaming I send him to sit in a corner till he calms down, ignoring him till he completely stops... not time out... just a place where he can be safe but out of everyone's attention so he can. Sooner or later she wont want to go bc it will be inconvenient for her and boring lol... now, if my child back talks or tells me no.. immediate time out for three minutes. No ands or ifs about it.. straight to time out then a stern talking to (with of course telling them you love them) about telling you no. It works really well.. hope I helped!

    Answer by midnight11287 at 11:09 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • my dd would tell me "no" when i'd tell or ask her to do something and i said "you don't tell mommy no, now do it" if she didn't my dh would talk to her and she's do it...she don't want daddy to get on to her lol

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • If you want your child to respect and obey you, there is no discipline more effective than spanking. At 3, your child is old enough to understand simple rules. You tell her once, expecting immediate obedience. If she does not respond, you spank. You then tell her that Mommy loves her too much to allow her to be disrespectful and/or disobedient. If you will consistently do this for a few days, you will find you almost never have to use it. You will also not need to make explanations to your dentist nor to anyone else. You will have a well-behaved, obedient child that you will be proud to take with you anywhere you go. It is a hard thing to do, especially for those of us who lean toward tender heartedness, but I promise you it is well worth the sacrifice.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:32 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • When mine have a meltdown, it has to do with their challenges. When they throw a FIT, that's something else.

    For tantrums, it's parking of the butt until they stop. I don't care where we are, they are PARKED until the tantrum stops.

    For meltdowns, it depends on the kid. Each needs a different technique due to his individual challenges. It can be letting him curl up into the fetal position and keeping things around him calm, or it can be cradling him in my arms and holding him as firm as I can until he has calmed again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I totally disagree with NannyB. Spanking teaches nothing more than hitting is ok.. However, I can totally appreciate your frustration. My almost 3 yr old can make me nuts at times. A couple of things I've found. Getting outside helps. Burning off energy and the change of scenery keeps boredom away. I make sure we go out and do something everyday even if it's just running errands. I avoid "triggers" when I can. I know getting him endlessly in and out of the car is going to cause a meltdown so I avoid it when I can. I also avoid starting all sentences with "No". "The knife is dangerous. We leave it along." then I try to redirect. Timeouts help sometimes but when I max out, I threaten to put him in his room. I have done it on occaision and he hates it so that usually works. It also gives me time to cool! I leave yelling to only emergencies when I need him to stop dead in his tracks! lol...

    Answer by momofryan07 at 10:57 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • i send him to his room or put him on the couch for a time out! he hates time outs so that usually works but if it is a bad melt down he is sent to his room till he stops crying, screaming, ect.

    Answer by acjadams at 11:43 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • i try to warn ds ahead of time of what his punishment will be if he doesn't listen to me. For example mornings are rough time of day for both me and ds. he is awake bright eyed and bushy tailed. me on the other hand is still rubbing away the eye boogies. And in the moring his playfullness can wear on me b/c i just want to get done and get where we need to go and he doesn't understand why mom is not as patient. So i tell him we are going to get dressed and so on and if he doesn't listen to me he is going to go to time out or lose his scooby doo time or whatever. This seems to help b/c he can predict what will happen if he doesn't listen to me. The meltdowns still happen and there are still times I want to pull my hair out but it doesn't happen often. Good Luck!

    Answer by nurbabe82 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • You make sure they're safe (in their child-proofed room or something) and go into another room and ignore them. If you keep paying any sort of attention - positive OR negative - during a tantrum or something, they're going to keep getting worse - they start realizing the bad behavior gets them more attention, so they do it more often. By ignoring them, they have no audience, they get bored quicker, and do it less often. My kids rarely (and by rarely I mean maybe a couple times a year) have tantrums or big meltdowns because I ignored them from an early age (1-ish).

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 4, 2009