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How well does your 3-4 yo communicate?

My son is 3 1/2 and is in speech therapy bc nobody can understand him. Has gotten a lot better but still working on it. He doesn't tell us about his day-we ask what he did at school and all he says is he colored. That's all he says about school. He talks but I don't think he "communicates" if that makes sense...and he can count to 10 so I know he's pretty smart but the teacher said she's worried about him being on the autism spectrum, not quite autistic but not quite right I'm just trying to compare how well kids his age should talk before I get myself worked up into a tizzy! thx

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • My twins are 3 1/2. I think they talk fine, but some other people don't understand them very well. I think those people just aren't paying attention to them. They can count to 30, and really never stop talking! lol. I work with them everyday while they are doing school work trying to get them to say things the right way (We homeschool) The thing with my girls is they were born prematurely and I have been told ever since they were born they may be slightly behind other kids their age.

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 11:19 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Stop babytalking to your babies and you won't have toddlers that speak like you did when they were infants. Infants learn language from who? That's right, their families, and if they are speaking garbledee gook than so will your toddler. DUH
    Like computers, you put junk in, you get junk out, self explanatory I think.
    We never babytalked our kids, and guess what? They started talking like humans instead of aliens! To everyone's surprise, there was an 18 and 28 month old adults could understand, I wonder why?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My 3.5 year old talks like a 2 year old. He has very few words, rarely puts them into more than 2 word combos and just doesn't have a very big vocabulary. Some days the words come, some they don't. We have a super supportive school district who are willing to do anything to help us out. He is in preschool where they have speech, physical, cognitive, and occupational therapist's in the classroom every day (they have 9 children with assorted disorders in the class). Last week we talked to his teachers about getting assessed for autism and they feel it might be premature. Your son sounds like he has much fewer/less obvious problems so I would hold off till he is 5 personally. They can change so much. But if he has the big signs (not making eye contact, not emoting, ect) you might want to do it. Is the speech therapist in contact with the teachers? Have you talked with both about it or just the teacher?

    Answer by auroura at 11:43 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My just turned 4 year old talks very well sometimes her grandparents have problems hearing over the phone All children are diff my child is the only kid in her class that can write her first middle and last name.(she knew to write her first name at 2) But her school dont teach her anything all they do is play and color too she learns at home. she can count to 30 then starts to skip all shapes colors she loves to learn i don't know what to teach her next.....she loves drawing draws people better than her 6 year old cousin.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My 3 year old, speaks very well! a little too well for my taste! she is a sassy little one....but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that she has a 6 year old sister that teaches her everything good and bad! all kids are different!!!!! and just because he is not speaking perfectly doesnt mean he is autistic!! those things are easily fixed with speech might even be able to help him! look online for ways to help better your child's speech. best of luck to you and I think you should ask his pediatrician, dont take his teachers word for it..what does she know anyway? lol good luck to you , your little boy will be just fine! plus all guys have communication problems :)

    Answer by kassynkayla at 12:26 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My 3 year olds speak well. They have large vocabularies but do have mild articulation delays. They also communicate well. (and anon can kiss my ass because we never did "baby talk" but have two with speech delays. Baby talking to your kids is not the only fucking cause of speech delays, bitch)

    You're right, OP, in that there is a difference between speaking and communicating.

    Counting to 10 is nothing but memorizing. Does he recognize letters and numbers? At his age, he shouldn't know them all...but kind of recognize a few.

    Don't get worked into a tizzy. I know, easier said than done, but it won't help. The first step has been taken. The teacher suspects a problem. So...have him evaluated, discover what problem there is (if ANY) and take it from there. One step at a time. (my oldest is on the's not the end of the world)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My twins will be 3 this month and I think they are improving on their speech every day- I have a son that will be 2 in December and he says some things better then they do, but I think everything will come in due time. I think if you keep working with them they will end up speaking better and better every day - I would just check with your dr. at your next visit and see what they say and go from there. I bet he is just fine!

    Answer by twinsand2 at 12:47 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I hear you and it is very hard when you have a child who is having developmental delays. Many parents do not realize that it isn't a matter of "baby talk" but rather true developmental issues as a result of medical conditions going on in the child's development. I speak to my son very clearly and without the "baby talk" and he still had developmental delays related to medical issues beyond his or our control. They just happen. They happen to a lot of families. Know you are not alone. A teacher is not qualified to give you a diagnosis and is not knowledgeable about pervasive developmental disorders because they do not have a license to diagnose. Doctors and therapists do. Teachers do recognize signs when children are not on par with their peers developmentally and can provide insight to parents and doctors. They can tell parents specific concerns but should NEVER give a diagnosis to a parent. 


    Answer by frogdawg at 6:15 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • So have the teacher list specifics. Such as: cannot sit still more than five minutes. Does not have the vocabulary of children in his class. Cannot cut paper or glue. He has tantrums when someone touches him....ect. Things that seem out of sorts for a child his age. But NEVER telling a parent a diagnosis. The thing is it could be a lot of things. It could be cerebral palsy, autism, childhood apraxia of speech...the list is longer than what she could ever guess and their are subtle differences between disorders. Not to mention a whole host of genetic disorders. I don't say this to terrify you but show you how teachers should not be telling you what your child may be living with. Most disorders are rare and typically you do see more developmental delays. Do go to a specialist to assist in correctly determining the issues.  Do have the teacher put a list together of specific behaviors or lack of progress.


    Answer by frogdawg at 6:20 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Thanks for the (mostly) kind words. Except one lady who probably has the perfect life and perfect child...I hope it stays that way for you bc I think you couldn't handle anything less :) When ds was admitted to school t here was all ready concerns for his dev'lpt. So she's been kind of keeping an eye on him, via our request. He is not the "typical" autism case in t hat he allows touching most times and mostly maintains eye contact, but he also has difficulty in doing so with strangers and refuses to initiate social contact.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

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