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How do I ask about this?

Ok this is going to seem like a dumb question but i didn't know how to word it which brings me to my question. Monday my mom picked up ds(3yr old) from preschool and his teacher told her they he had an incident & needed to be put in time out. After she gets home with him and asks him what happened he tells her that she grabbed his face and told her stop and it hurt. Now i belive that it happened but also believe it could have happened a couple different ways. One he could have just being dramatic and she didn't grab/squeeze his face hard but he's 3 and that's how he saw it or she did do it being rought about it. Either way i really don't want anyone "grabbing" his face. DH and i don't do it. So i want to say something but don't want it to come across as me being a bitch either. i always picture a conversation going way worse than it ever does lol. any ideas how to ask about his w/out sounding like i'm accsuing her of the worst

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (3)
  • Hmm, that's a tough one. Maybe you could approach as you just wanting to know what happened, because you didnt pick him up. So ask her happened, so you can hear her side and maybe say "DS felt like you were rougher w/ him than dad & I are at home." or " Did you have any problems getting him to make eye contact w/ you while you were scolding him?" and lead into it that way?
    Good luck.

    Answer by new_mom808 at 12:29 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • role play with you child and ask him to SHOW you what happened. ask questions, but not leading ones. Then speak with the teacher about it and ask her to explain and show you what exactly happened. then draw your conslusions.

    I've worked in preschools, schools, and daycares. There are some wonderful people and things can get mis-represented. However, i've seen some things that appall me as a teacher and a mom. Sometimes even an innocent act of grabbing a child by the face (without hurting them even) is still inappropriate. But i've seen teachers grab children by the neck, arms, face, head, and such...personally, i don't believe a teacher should be touching a child in a disciplinary way AT ALL, except for a situation that was extreme (like you had to get into the middle of a fight), then a written report should be made as to why you had to physicall handle a child. And yes, when i saw these things, i reported them to princip

    Answer by citymama707 at 12:51 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • "I know children can make things seem different than they actually were. I'm a little concerned about what little (kiddo) told me when I picked him up from Grandma's house on (day). Could you tell me what happened, because I'm not sure!" Let the teacher tell you what happened, and if it sounds totally innocent, THEN say "well I asked because little (kiddo) claimed he was grabbed. It's not something his daddy and I do, so I wanted to clear things up and find out everything that happened". If teacher balks, denies before you finish talking, ANYTHING to make you suspicious, go to her superior (principal, supervisor, whatever they have) and tell that person both sides - what your child said and what the teacher said. If the teacher gets all jumpy about it there's a fair chance they're guilty, but if she listens with concern, lets you talk, etc, there's a lesser chance you child was handled physically. Trust your mommy-gut.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

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