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My 9 year old is getting frustrating!

He argues with me, debates with me, is constantly complaining... moans about lunch, gripes about dinner, fights with his little brother. I am at my wits end with this child and don't know what to do anymore. The only time he is happy is when he's participating in some kind of activity or he's outside. When we're stuck in the house (like we will be this coming winter) he is rotten. He's too big for spankings, doesn't have a video game system or computer to take away. Barely watches tv as it is and having him write lines or essays has no effect on his behavior either. Is this typical 9 year old? What else can I try?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Sounds like he has lots of energy to burn.Keep him busy or occupied. Can you get him involved in some sort of sports or group activity with his friends??? Finding a hobby? Will he read...weekly trips to the library could help keep him occupied with no real cost to you.
    Wishing you lots of luck especially in the cold weather. :)

    Answer by companygoddess at 2:08 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Thanks. Yes, he's in karate twice a week already. That's about all we can afford right now. He also goes to the library every week, he loves reading (I got so lucky!). We try to keep him busy and doing things, he's in webelos and church activities, karate and the library but we also have 2 other children. Many more activities and we'll never be at home. lol He's a great kid except for when we do have to sit down (like for dinner or something) or when I am trying to get the baby to sleep. That's when he's at his meanest and rottenest.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I have an 8-year old son, who is the same way. There is nothing I can do to please him and he fights with his sister all the time. He loves to be outside and hates being indoors. I dread the winter months about as much as you do. LOL My husband tried this new thing with him at the start of the autum season and so far it is working. We try to get him involved as much as possible with everything. He helps me plan and cook dinner, which keeps him oppupied for about 30-45 minutes. He helps my husband rake the leaves and has even offered to help our nextdoor neighbor rake her leaves. In return for our sanity we have agreed to give him an allowance. He feels good that he is getting Money, and we feel good that he is not driving us nuts. He is also, in cub scouts and we use the book to our advantage. There are a lot of activites in the book that will keep him occupied for hours and will get him to think.

    Answer by jenvincelette at 10:08 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • A 9 year old is not too big for spankings. Why not be a brat if he knows he won't get a spanking?

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 11:41 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • motherofhope, my 9 year old is bigger than I am and his dad works in another state and is only home on the weekends, so yes, he is too big for spankings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Oh, and to add, I think the only "brat" here is the one who thinks spanking solves all problems. How about something that makes your child think about their wrong action, or do you disapprove of thinking as well?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Just my opinion, but a 9 yr old is NOT too old for a whoopin. My nine yr old daughter gets them when she gets out of line. My daughter tries to pull the same thing with me when we are at home, because she's a social butterfly & always wants to be out doing something. When she complains about being bored i make her write sentences or make her do chores. That usually works. If not, she's gets her tale whooped.

    Answer by Lextacy at 4:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • And I'll repeat, my son is bigger than I am and his father is out of state most of the week. You want to beat your kids, go ahead. I however prefer that my children learn from other forms of punishment than beating. A "good whoopin" is great for a child that has no brain in their skull. Mine however does have a brain, he just doesn't use it properly sometimes. Therefore, make him think about what he did wrong rather than resort to violence. Now go take your abusive heart elsewhere.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Nov. 5, 2009