Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help!! My Fiance and his family want us to have another baby... NOW!!

Ok so I just turned 22 on Sunday... My fiance ( OMG it feels so weird saying that lol he just proposed on my b-day!!!!) is 31... we had our first child (a boy) in June... now his family and him are both talking about us having more... as of now!! I hated being pregnant and I am just about to finish school... so to say the least I told them in 5 years (that's why I got the Mirena) Apparently it isn't getting through to them because the are talking about us having 3 kids by then ( I only want 2) What should I do... I'm starting to feel like they only see me as a baby factory!!

Answer Question
 
June_Mama09

Asked by June_Mama09 at 1:59 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Just tell them flat out that it's none of their business and that you and your fiance will discuss it AFTER THE WEDDING.

    That will buy you a little time.

    I have two 11 months apart. You do NOT want to do that on purpose! It's rough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Say after our Wedding, we will startmaking a baby but only when we are ready, WE get it.
    Hey, Don't rush it, I am trying to keep up with the one I have. :) Nicely,

    Don't be rude. :)
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:08 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I went through the same thing. I was 21 when I had my daughter and both of our families kept asking when the next one was coming. My mom called me selfish for not having another one right away. I just told them that I was the one that had to go through the pregnancy and raise the child....not them!
    I ended up going back to school for a bachelors degree and I know that I wouldn't have been able to work ft and go to school with more than one kid. I'm due in 5 weeks and my children with be 10 years apart.
    Keep in mind that his family will lighten up if one of his brothers or sisters gets engaged, pregnant, or married. Then the pressure will be off of you.
    Congrats on the engagement. Good luck!
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 2:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Congrats on your engagement. But woah... I"d be worried if my fiance and his family were working as a team against your wishes... you and he are supposed to be the team (not that it's a battle or a game, but still... he should be on your side). Of course you don't have to agree on everything, but this is something big. Big enough, in my opinion, that you two ought to come to an agreement that both of you can stand behind, BEFORE you go through with a wedding. You need to assert your own needs and desires, and they should be respected. Keeping up with one child and finishing school is quite a lot to have on your plate. Three kids by such and such a date? Whose body is this again? Whose calendar are we on? In your place, I would be having a big, long, serious talk with the hubby-to-be.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 3:24 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Make sure your fiance is on the same page right now, or this is going to be a short engagement with no wedding at the end of it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:11 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • if it gets really bad think about lie-ing. say some thing like 'we are trying' and just keep taking your birth control
    t_creanskisa

    Answer by t_creanskisa at 8:58 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN