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My husband can't stop cussing in front of our son

Before we had kids we both agreed that we did not want our kids being around cussing when they were little. We both think it is wrong and trashy to have little kids cussing. That was about 6 years ago when we were getting married. Now we have a four year old son. This has been an ongoing discussion between us. When I found out I was pregnant I starting getting used to not cussing anymore. By the time our son started talking I had full control of my language. My DH on the other hand does not. I have been telling him for years he will have to tone it down, but he always kept saying our son was too young to understand and mimic. Well his cussing has not stopped, he has gotten better, but he still does it several times a day around our son. Now at 4 our son is starting to show the consequences. He has been using swear words while playing. I am upset and told DH this has to end now,but he said it is too hard.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (7)
  • I am mad because this is an agreement that we came to long before we had kids and before we got married. Now he is going back on what he said. He doesn't think it is a big deal if our son cusses as long as it isn't the "worst" words (F***, Sh**, B****, etc). He thinks it is fine for him to say damn, hell, and ass. I don't want him saying any of those words when he is only 4. I am not looking for a debate on whether or not it is okay for kids to cuss. My stance is no, no arguement is going to change that. I am looking for suggestions on how to deal with my husband on this issue. Or suggestions that he can use to make it easier to stop. Thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • well we had that problem when my oldest was young and we couldnt figure out how to break ourselves, we wernt doing it on purpose, and someone suggested this.....

    pick a fun word, ours was "monkey" and anytime your husband cusses have him say your fun word in a load voice. young children gennerally only really hear the tail end of what you say so instead of hearing him say sh** your son will hear "monkey"! not only does your child get a kick out of it but it really does train you to stop cussing too. it took about a month before we alltogether stopped saying monkey and we didnt unconciosly cuss in front of lilly anymore either.

    Answer by cassie_m at 4:44 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Our rule is for every cuss word or word we don't approve off you have to give my son a quarter. This applies to us, grandparents, great- grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. If you want to be around my son and can't control yourself you better have a pocket full of quarters or dollars. We filled up a large piggy bank, but they finally caught on. This may work for you.

    Answer by cassey.e at 5:23 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • what about a money jar? That's what we are doing. Either one of us swear, we put money in the jar, but then again, my husband WANTS to not swear too and knows he is NOT too young even as a baby he didn't want him to hear it.. he sounds like it just doesn't seem like a big deal to hiim -

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:59 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Um, am I the only one who thinks you should be teaching your kids some respect, not your husband? Who cares if adults cuss. They are adult words and can be said by adults. They should not, however, be said by children. When children use adult words, they should be told that those words are only for adults. If the child continues, he/she should be punished. Your husband is an adult, therefore he should be "allowed" to say them. Unless you are his mom too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I have always told my child that some words are not meant for a child to say (let alone a adult) and that they are "caca" words. So everytime anyone around him says a "caca" word he tells them, "that is a caca word and you shouldn't say it" and after about 20 verses of that in a 30 minute period my husband realized that he needed to tone it down a lot. Now when he says that nasty F word my son goes and gets the bar of soap because he know that I DO NOT tolerate that word being said.

    I Kind of made it a game. IF your son knows which words are cuss words then I suggest to try it my son's way. He thinks of it as a game almost but still understands that people shouldn't say some things. AFter a while your husband should stop cussing all together, if not then at least slow it down a lot.

    I myself sub things. Instead of crap I say crud, etc...

    I hope this helps you out some.

    Answer by JamieJohns at 7:49 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Anon kids learn from their parents. Do you not know this already?? Kids learn by example. If you haven't figured this one out already you should not be a mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

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