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A family member was just arrested for attempted murder...

I am reeling... A member of my non-immediate family was apparently just booked on attempted murder. The details aren't important, but I don't know how to react to this... What do I say to his mother? And what do I say to HIM? There is no doubt that he did it - he was caught red-handed, so to speak - so what do I do if and when he is released??? I don't want him around my child. He doesn't live in my town so I rarely see him, but we have family get-togethers once a year or so... I am just in shock!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I have a few members of my family sitting in prison and they are all my aunts kids. she has 4 grown men as children and 3 are locked away facing, 10...40...and 117 years...WOW right

    I no longer involve myself with her and I try to distance myself from that side of the family, not because its her fault but one of the attempted murderers, the one who's in there for 117 years and is also a cousin of min, is the main suspect for actually murdering my other cousin, but thats not what he got locked away for, it was for trying to kill his ex wife.

    so since Isee a psycho trend I dont associate with them anymore

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • You don't bring it up and if it does get brought up you sympathise with the family members. It's hard on families when their loved one does something stupid. They are betrayed to, because when stuff like that happens, it's the family members who are sitting at home ashamed and missing their loved one. More then likely the family will end up pissed at him at some point, but it still hurts.

    If you don't want to have your kids around him then don't bring your kids around him. It won't be that hard.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Just be true to yourself and you'll do the right thing for your family. Know how you feel, don't pretend. Show empathy for his parents, but you certainly don't have to ever be around anyone you don't like.

    Answer by EireLass at 8:32 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My father is in prison for 2 counts of murder and has been there for almost 31 years. I didn't have anything to do with it so if my relatives decided not to speak to me I would be hurt (to say the least). You can't hold that persons actions against the family. If he's released then I would stay away from him but I wouldn't avoid his Mother, she didn't do anything.

    Answer by jessicazeksmom at 8:36 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I have a cousin who served time for the death of another person. I don't know what he was officially charged with, as it was basically an accident. His ex-girlfriend had seen him out at a bar, well he went home. And she, her sister, and another guy came to his house later that night and started messing with his vehicle. He didn't know who was outside and fired one shot in the air to "scare off' whoever it was. Well you know how that goes, it wasn't quite straight in the air and when it came down it hit her sister (who was sitting in the middle of the truck) in the back of the head. What's worse was the sister was my cousins best friend. I assume he was in for manslaughter or something because he didn't serve very long, he also got out early due to health reasons. He is a good person and the last type of person that this would have happened too. I speak to him when I see him, I don't hold it against him. It was just sad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • My immediate family will "out" anyone detrimental like that....That means I'm not expected to ever have to communicate with or see someone like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • OP - Jessicazekmom, I didn't mean that I didn't want to be around his mother, I just don't know how to approach the situation in terms of talking about it. She doesn't even live in the same state as him, so it def. wasn't her fault. I know that. She is a great person.
    And to another anon poster,this wasn't an accident, not by a mile. I don't want to go into a lot of detail but basically he was caught strangling someone who almost died b/c of it. He was very drunk at the time. So I don't want him around my family if he is capable of that, but since he was drunk he might not be in jail for very long (no premeditation). So how the hell am I supposed to not go to family get-togethers and not hurt others' feelings? Esp. his mom?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

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