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Need support...I made a decision to stop breastfeeding

I've been unemployed for a long time and was able to breastfeed 90% of the time but have always supplemented with formula. A month ago I went back to work and have not been able to keep up with breastfeeding after work..I only have a 30 minute break if I am lucky and have never been able to pump enough for a feeding but I kept going. Last week I noticed that my milk supply stopped coming in even when I was nursing my baby after work I prayed and thought about it for a few days and as of Sunday night I have stopped. Since then I am feeling tremendous guilt and have a fear that I've lost my connection with my baby, I feel depressed and do not feel like a good mom at all. I feel that I have made the right decision but having a hard time coping. Please no bashing.. Just want support from moms who have felt like this how did you get through it? My baby is almost 5 months old.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on Nov. 4, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • First of all CONGRATS!! 5 months is great! Some people don't make it that long. You're doing the best you can for your baby and that's what matters. Bottle feeding allows both you and S/O and family to bond with your child, so your child will benefit from that. Formula isn't that bad, despise what some on here would have you believe. Your baby's still gettion nutrition and will grow and thrive. The important thing is to have a mommy who loves him and will take care of him when he needs it. ***hugs*** Just love your baby and enjoy him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • First thing first, you are not a bad mom and you have to stop thinking that. Breastfeeding is a wonderful connection with your child but that is not the only way to stay connected to your child. I have an incredible bond with my girl and she just wouldnt do breastfeeding. I have a friend that went through this and this is what she said (and I did this too). There is nothing wrong with giving a bottle going skin to skin. You can hold the bottle close to your boob, it is not the same but it is pretty damn close. Connections are not just from breastfeeding alone. Spending time with your child, loving your child, playing with your child, being there for your child, those things is what makes connections in my opinion. Hang in there mama!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • DONT FEEL BAD, BUT YOU KNOW BY LAW A BF MOM IS ALLOW TO PUMP. AS MUCH AS SHE NEEDS IN ORDER TO SUPPLY THE BABY WITH FOOD. I FF MY FIRST AND I HAVE A GREAT CONNECTION WITH HER. BUT DONT FORGET THE LAW PROTECTS A BF MOM AND IF YOU NEEDED TO PUMP MORE YOUR BOSS WASN T ALLOW TO TELL YOU KNOW. GOOD LCUK WITH WHATEVER CHOICE YOU MAKE
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 10:34 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I tried and tried to BF for the first two months of my DD's life...I could never make enough milk so now we're FF exclusively. You should be feeling great that you could BF for any amount of time!!! Don't worry, your baby will be fine! If you need to talk about your guilty conscience, you can message me. I felt inadequate and like a failure for months...my DD is just over 5 months old and I'm finally realizing that it's ok to FF, if you need to. :)
    SarahLeeMorgan

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 10:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • you are a wonderful mom! Don't feel bad at all.... and know that stress can play a huge role in your milk production. My SIL wound up BF her dd only in the morning and before bed because that's what worked out for her and her work schedule. She stll got to bond with her that way and even when she bottle fed too. and in that case others got to bond with her baby to by helping to bottle feed. I understand why you might feel the way you are, but honey you are doing what you can and that's all that matters. I'll be praying for you
    marchma2b

    Answer by marchma2b at 10:43 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • Don't beat yourself up over it. You did the best that you could do and that is all that you can expect out of anyone. And just FYI for the future (if there are anymore children) look into your state laws about nursing mothers. In some places your employer HAS to give you time in the day to go pump and htey have to provide you with a place to pump in private that is not a bathroom, or feed the baby if someone brings them in.
    jedwards2009

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 10:46 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • I totally felt this way a few months after I stopped breastfeeding. I even tried to make my milk come back, but at some point you just have to forgive YOURSELF. We are all the hardest on ourselves. You have done an amazing job breastfeeding for 5 months, and now you are doing an amazing job making money so you can take better care of your daughter. You are making the tough decisions (yes - they are tough!) but you are doing it all for your child, and that bond is unbreakable. Let this one go. It's okay. You don't have to punish yourself anymore with guilt and worry. Just feel proud and move forward. **HUGS**
    SavvyMomma1809

    Answer by SavvyMomma1809 at 10:48 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • You are taking care of your family, too! I stopped BFing when mine was about 4 months b/c he wouldn't latch on and all i could do was pump and I couldn't take it anymore. Plus, he fed so much that I was running out of milk before I could pump again!!! You can still have special time with baby with a bottle, studying his little face while he eats, looking into his eyes as he chugs away! He may be happier this way, anyway! You rock, mama!
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • You are not a bad mommy at all. When I was pregnant with my son I always said I would breastfeed him for atleast 6 months...well he ended up with jaundice really bad and between the stress on him and the stress on me I could only breast feed for a week. I felt horrible like you are saying on here, but you need to do what is best for you and your baby. You did great breastfeeding your lo til 5 months :) That 5 months has built up immunity in your lo body so much! Hang in there hun. There are other ways to bond as well. Try spending your break interacting if your lo is awake...or during bath time use that as bonding time. Anytime with your baby can be bonding time...even a feeding with a bottle can be :)

    I will keep you in my prayers :)
    leann74016

    Answer by leann74016 at 11:29 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

  • You are NOT a bad mommy! Please don't feel that way!!!!
    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 11:58 PM on Nov. 4, 2009

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