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Am I being selfish???

I am a mother if two. I am recently made up my mind to join the National Guard. I am doing so because I have always wanted to, to provide health care for my family, and help me go back to school. My husband and I know that I could be deployed. We have taken steps to know he will be helped while I am gone to basic. My problem is. Recently I was talking to a friend about me going. An old woman over heard us and said something about me being selfish. I know what I am doing will help my family. But am I being selfish for doing this???

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (25)
  • I don't see that you are being selfish at all, more selfLESS, serving your country and doing what is good for your family.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:53 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • If you and your Husband are ok with it, then no you are not being selfish. You are showing your kids that you will stand up for what you believe in. And I thank you for that!

    Answer by mereinhart28 at 7:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • The chances of being deployed are high... so the chances of you missing milestones and not being there for your kids is high.

    If you are prepared to miss parts of their childhood and all things are taken care of... follow your heart.

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 8:07 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • You wont have the health care unless you are deployed and considered active.
    It is the same for the reserves.
    The only way your whole family is covered in thru active duty
    But no I dont see you as selfish

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I do think you are being selfish. How can you willingly walk away from your kids? You are a mother. Behave like a mother. There are other jobs that will not take you away from your children. Your children will feel abandoned. They will distant themselves from you. There developement will suffer. What if you are deployed? What if you are killed? Your children will know that their mommy chose a job over them. Children need their mom at home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I think nosy old women should not make nasty remarks to people they don't know. In your heart you know why you are doing what you are doing - none of us and judge your motives. At the end of the day your job is to protect and serve your country so not one of us really has a right to judge that choice since you are protecting us.

    Whatever you do, don't let that nosy old lady make you second guess yourself. You know how you feel about your kids, and you know how you feel about this choice. That's all that matters.

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:51 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • to me it sounds like you are covering the bases for YOU and your Family. you are providing them with benefits and a good salary and a stable jobs. but you're also fulfilling something that you have always wanted to do.

    go for it.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 9:14 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • No you are not being selfish. You are trying to make a better life for your family. If you are killed, your children will know you were serving your country. Yes, they will miss you, and you will miss some of their developments, but in the long run you will benefit greatly (and so will they, since a better job comes from going back to school, which provides a better life for them).
    As for the Anonymous an ideal world children would have their mother at home. We do not live in anything close to an ideal world. Her children would cope, as all the children of military members do. She is trying to better herself for her family, and you say she is selfish? She is not willingly walking away from her kids, she is not abandoning them for heaven's sake. She has made appropriate arrangements for her husband to have help with them should it be needed. She and her husband seem fully educated on this choice, and are prepared.

    Answer by lilmama2be at 9:15 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • So to finish off, follow what you think is right. I personally do not see you as selfish in anyway. And have a huge amount of respect for you, not just for going to serve our country, but wanting to better yourself for your family.

    My family is/has been all military. My mother, my brother, and my uncle are all in the air force currently. My uncle has 3 children. He has been deployed. And he plays both mom and dad to them. They are doing fine. :)

    Answer by lilmama2be at 9:20 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • No, you're not being selfish. how is looking out for your family selfish? don't let the old lady (or the dumb anon above) get to you! They are just trying to make you feel bad because you are not doing what they are doing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

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