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Problems with Mom

Ok, sorry this may be long. My Mother and I have never had a good relationship. (abuse as a child, she didn't talk to me for 3 years after I moved in with my dad, the list goes on and on) So anyway, This past week, my daughter had a bday party in which we invited kids from school, my mom was mad because i didn't invite her. (money is tight, we only invited kids from school, i explained that to her. she flipped out) 4 days later, my daughter had a soccer game in which my mom wanted to take us out for brunch after to celebrate end of season. I said ok, however that morning it was cold, rainy, and really windy. I left my son home with my husband, ( he had a cold, and stitches in his forehead from a fall a few days before). Well, my mom flipped out about that too, saying it

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Maybe her Mom isn't trying to make ammends. Maybe she has her "nice" moments but is still the same person most of the time. That's how my mother is and I really would rather not be around her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • sorry...so anyway, what should I do at this point. I am so sick of my mom acting like a child, and then getting my sister (whom talks to me only 1 or 2 times a year) involved!!! I haven't called either of them yet, this has been going on for years, she is always causing drama and I don't really want my kids to be exposed to all of this. Any advice????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • The child's grandma should be invited to all birthday parties for the child.

    The restaurant would have been warm and dry, and besides it would have been a free meal. You all should have gone for the outing even if a bit inconvenient, especially since the grandma was left out of the birthday party. She was probably feeling hurt as it was and this cancellation of her treat was the straw that broke the camel's back. She was right to tell you that it hurt her feelings, how else would you know for sure, although you should be able to figure it out. It wasn't your sister's issue and she shouldn't have called you names. A quiet "you know that Mom is badly hurt." might have been appropriate.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:28 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Always put yourself in the other side, wear her shoes for a minute, I also agree that grandparents should always be a part of their grandchildren's birthday.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • My MIL has never thrown a fit for not being invited to the boys' laser tag or mini golf parties. This grandma should always be invited stuff is crap! You could have gone to lunch, all you had to do is pick up DH and the boy on the way. You need to learn to diffuse your mother. When she starts filling out you need a way to get her back on an adult level.  I wasn't there and don't know when she started flipping out or how bad or whatever.  But there must have been a way to say of course I left him at home, we can pick him up when the game is over and stop the tantrum.  Perhaps you should discuss it with your sister.  Tell her you were blindsided by this childish behavior and what would she suggest.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Well the weather situation wasn't your fault. But after breakfast you could of invited her over to see your son. and then she would have seen that he was really sick for herself. But for the birthday if you couldn't invite her to your daughters birthday party because it was friends only then you should of invited her over either the day before or the day after the party. and explain to her that you didn't invite her then because she just wanted a party with her friends. Since its that important for grandmom to be with her grandkids.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:15 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • It seems to me like you're just making excuses!! Who doesn't invite their own mother to their child's b-day party?!? Maybe you've had a rough childhood. But it seems like your mom is trying to make ammends. I think you should try a little harder. You sound like you're trying to get sympathy and you are the one that comes off as a bitch. I'm sorry, but that's all I got from that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Why don't you talk to your sister?? It seems to me, she doesn't like you for some reason, and didn't like the way you treated your mother ( I wouldn't have liked it either, and would have said something too ) so she decided to call you out on it....which she should have!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2009