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Need advise...hubbie feels he nees more "attention"......

I am a new mom of a 4 mth old...I clean our house, laundry, homemade supper every night and take care of our daughter everyday....by the time 9pm comes around I am ready to pass out. My hubbie would like more "attention/intimacy" but I simply am so tired. Before we had our daughter (and b4 pregnancy) we had a great "intimate "relationship...I was always ready to party and drink ....I had lots of energy !! He is a good guy and I love him and I have spoken to him about the changes. I do not want him to feel that I do not give him enough "attention/intimacy".....my fear (which is irrational) is that he woul stray emotionally ( this is my own issue, nothing he has done.) Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do to ensure that ur hubbie also feels he has enough attention ? How can I balance being a mom, wife and my own person ?! AHHHHH lol :)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Learning how to balance all aspects of marriage and motherhood is part of the process. I would just remind you that your children will live in your home for about 18 years and then they will be gone. Hopefully, you and your husband will have 50 or 60 years together. If you don't make the marriage a priority right now, when the children are gone, you won't have much of a relationship with the man you chose to be their father. My advice is to do whatever you have to do to make him feel like he is the most important person in your life. It's not the easiest thing to do but it is doable, and you will be mighty glad you did it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:43 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • You need to have a date night one or two nights a month, let him know that you are still his wife, not just the mother of his child now. You have to realize that as much as things have changed for you, they have changed for him too. You may think that 4 months old is too young to get a babysitter. If you live close to your family, maybe they can help you out. I don't mean an all night date. Take a couple hours, go for a nice dinner and just talk about anything other than the baby or the housework, etc. If you get the baby to bed at night, sit down and relax with your husband for a few minutes. He will really appreciate it.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 9:17 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I agree with April. It's tough especially if it's your first to get the balance down. Also, maybe let some of the house stuff go a bit during some days. Maybe take some shortcuts on dinner once in a while. I think that we as women put too much pressure on ourselves to have everything done perfectly. Clean house, happy kids, laundry never piling up (which now after three kids piles up way too much some days) delicious homemade dinner, everything from scratch. It's ridiculous and it's our own doing.
    heatheryn

    Answer by heatheryn at 9:36 AM on Nov. 5, 2009