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Etiquette

A FB friend of mine just lost her 3 yr old son to an unknown virus.While looking thru the posts people sent,I noticed alot of ones mentioning that it was God's plan for that little boy to be with Him,and I felt the need to tell people to censor that thought,and keep it short and simple(sorry,how can we help)We lost our daughter in 2000(stillbirth)and when people mentioned God's plan to me,i just wanted to scream!I didn't want to hear that,I just wanted my baby with us.What are your thoughts on this sensitive issue?

 
TMJ121099

Asked by TMJ121099 at 9:16 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 7 (186 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Um,Post above^Whatever!

    I am a loss mom too. I can say from experience it is NOT a good idea to say things like that to ppl who have lost a child. They will most likely have some anger at God for taking their child. They will have to heal their hurt and often it can take long time. My dh and I are still holding some anger. My son would have been 9 years old. I am not sure if this is so much a matter of etquette or more a matter of being sensitive to another persons feelings. If ppl really care for someone they won't say something in those words. After having lost a few loved ones I ususally simply tell ppl who have had a loss-I really don't know what to say but I want you to know I am thinking about you and praying for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • that is very ignorant of people to say
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:18 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • At this time of pain you should never say "it is Gods plan" I love God, but I do think it is very stupid to say. When you are in pain all you want to hear is "I'm sorry"
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 9:23 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I think that when you are in pain the least you want to hear is what people have to say. Specially something so personal and intimate such as the lost of son or daughter. There will never be words to console a mother that has lost a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I personally do not bring up God's plan with condolences, unless I know the person to truly believe their loss was God's plan. If the person makes no mention, I simply say a little prayer.

    I don't think it's necessarily "bad" etiquette for people to say reference God's plan in condolences, but I think it would be wise for others to be sensitive when it comes to religion and condolences .... especially when dealing with the loss of a loved one so young.
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 10:22 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • god hates us all!!
    evilive

    Answer by evilive at 11:04 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

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