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How would you handle this?

Last night we went out to dinner with my FIL who is very obese, weighs 270 lbs and has diabetes. We try to keep him on track and help him with meal choices and let him know to watch what he is eating so that he could lose weight.
So after dinner, we followed him home. He didn't know we were behind him and saw him turn into Dunkin Donuts! My husband is so angry at him right now because he doesn't understand why he would be going to Dunkin Donuts when we had desert at the restaurant! And we know my FIL all too well, he can not just eat one donut, he needs 3 with a medium coffee with cream and sugar. My husband wants to say something to him because who knows how often he does this but I'm embarrased for him. What would you do?


Asked by mamaada at 9:26 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 21 (11,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I would tell him your concerns again...without blaming or juding then the decision will have to be up to him..Maybe instead of going out to dinner, invite him over or go to his place and cook a healthy meal? GL I've been there w/my grandpa

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 9:31 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Let him know of your concerns,but for the most part,you may have to butt out.If he wants to kill himself with being fully aware of what this behavior will acomplish,how are you gonna stop him?

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:29 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • There really is nothing you can do. Been there. Even voicing your concerns could be a problem. He's an adult who can eat himself to death if he wants to and all you can do is choose to watch or not.

    Answer by heatheryn at 9:33 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I agree with those that are saying that you really can't do much. My best friends husband had lung cancer and couldn't quit smoking, he died shortly after being diagnosed, and even then his wife, my best friend has been unable to quit.

    They are adults, no one can control their behavior. It's okay to let him know you are concerned, but then you have to back off and let him decide how he wants to live. Other than staging an intervention of some kind, I don't think you can control him.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:40 AM on Nov. 5, 2009