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Gender disappointment- No bashing please...

Has anyone else dealt with this? I have nobody to talk to and I feel like a horrible person for even feeling this way but I can't help it. I am on my last baby and desperately wanted a girl. Now I will never know what it's like to raise a daughter. I know I willlove my son as much as I do my others but I feel like I'm greaving the loss of the daughter I dreamt of all my life.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (12)
  • i think it's normal. don't feel too bad. like you said, you will love your son. just never tell him you cried when you found out he wasn't the daughter you always wanted! :) i think it's a good idea to grieve now that way you can be 100% happy when you greet your beautiful son.
    Stefanie83

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 9:43 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I can't relate to your disappointment because I have never felt that way before. I got my 2 boys first then my girl last. But I always said before I knew it was a girl that whatever it is it is meant to be! I believe once you see that baby and hold that baby in your arms, that feeling will go away. This baby is a gift. Just pray that you have a healthy baby....and get over it already! No point in dwelling about it, it will only make you more miseable! Good luck.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:45 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • It is totally normal to feel this way. I think if many of us were honest, we have had similiar feelings ourselves. There are many ways of dealing with this: writing a letter to the daughter you don't have and then letting it go (outside), you can focus on how your little boy will add to your family and to your life, and you can also give yourself time mourn. I have done all three, and although it doesn't completely take away the feeling, it does help.
    tarabartish

    Answer by tarabartish at 9:51 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Well maybe you will get some great DIL.
    Fordmomma

    Answer by Fordmomma at 9:56 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Honey, it's totally normal you feel this way...I would feel the same way! I only have one, a boy, but I def. want a girl. Just remember that this was the way it was supposed to be. If you were supposed to have a girl you would've had one. I think little boys are so much fun!! And on the plus side, I hear boys are much easier than girls ;) Don't let yourself feel so down. God gave you boys for a reason!! :)
    mamie2shoes

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 10:20 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I wanted a girl so bad with my first then once I had my son I wanted another boy for my second : ), its normal but once you have him you won't care...
    KatieP.

    Answer by KatieP. at 11:04 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I did the exact same thing. I wanted so much for my baby to be a girl. I dreamed of all the things we would do together. The dresses, pigtail and tea parties. Buying first bras and make up for her. The whole bit.

    Like you, I had a boy. I had to fight tears in the ultrasound room. Happy and sad. I was bummed for the whole day after that. Silly really, a baby is such a blessing. But you can't help how you feel. A couple days after that I started to bleed--bright red. I thought I was losing him, that I didn't want him enough and he would be gone. He is a happy and healthy 6 month old baby today.

    I love that baby more than I could ever express. I wouldn't trade him for 3 daughters.

    You are not a bad mother. Just honest. It's okay to be disappointed and okay to feel the loss of your dream of a daughter. You aren't alone.

    He'll be your whole world and you will wonder how you could of ever wanted anything else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • thats why i didn't want to know the sex of this baby. my situation is different though. as i have a daughter but i have had 5 sons 3 which i gave up for adoption but that's another story. with this pregnancy i didn't want to know until the birth as i didn't want to be disappointed that it was another boy through out the pregnancy. so crossing my fingers it's a girl but i'm fearful it's a boy. since i'm overdue it's killing me to find out. your feelings should work themselves out when you have it. at least that is what i think and is why i decided not to know until then. as if i won't care it's a boy just that it's healthy. good luck
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I totally went through this my last pregnancy too! Don't feel bad. And take a moment to grieve the daughter you won't have. I had to for about a week or 2 when I found out. I had 3 boys and had always wanted a girl and found out #4 was also a boy. I grieved and cried and eventually got past it. He has been the sweetest baby so far (he's 15 mo old) and I am so blessed. I said then (once getting past it) if it were meant for me to have a little girl at some point, I somehow would. I later started to get thankful for all the little girl drama I was getting to miss out on! Feel free to add me/msg me if you want!
    AddyLeigh

    Answer by AddyLeigh at 12:00 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • im sorry really. No bashing here. I have two daughters and im having another baby. I just know im having a son. Why is this your last baby? When i had my first two kids i was sad and disapointed like you thinking i would never have a son but now i am. maybe you could have another baby and try
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

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