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Do you ever feel like you married the wrong person?

Recently my husband has become so obnoxious and loud. I feel like he is so immature. I have never seen this side of him before and I feel like I made a mistake. He watches tv all the time, plays video games (which he just started) I just really don't get it. I am really depressed about it and other things at work and I am pregnant with our 3rd baby. I am a christian and lately I feel like all i do in prayer about him is complain about how irritating he is to me. I feel like he is so emotional and has barely any principles and he never changes. I will mention something to him about how i would feel more loved and he always says how whenever he is about to do something, I complain that he never does anything and messes it all up. Right now we both work with teenagers and I feel like he is regressing to thier level. This is not the man I married...WHAT HAPPENED and how can it be fixed?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Sweety I could be to things probably you getting one of those pregnancy symptoms where you CAN'T stand your hubby trust me it happened to me try to keep it down is just probably your mood that's making you feel like that or it could be that his trying to be like a friend to your kids so they could feel like his just as a teenager like them.. Is nothing wrong with that keep it down his just playing video games is not like his watching XXX movies... Ok GL
    MommyOfJayden23

    Answer by MommyOfJayden23 at 9:58 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I was in the same situation! I have 3 kids and I finally couldn't put up with his immaturity and control! Not good for the kids!!! Lazy!! I divorced him!
    My3RaysofSun

    Answer by My3RaysofSun at 9:58 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Do you go to church? You could ask your pastor to help you get invovled in couples counseling. I know my husband and I did this before we got married, and it helped a lot. It doesn't hurt to try. Sometimes I look at him like that too, but talking about it makes it so much better. Good Luck...and it could just be the pregnancy hormones, I know I felt like that when I was pregnant too.
    mamie2shoes

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 10:00 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I believe you know how you feel and he is the cause of it. Some men are verbally abusive and think women are suppose to take what ever they dish out. Maybe you should seek counciling and do all that you can do to forgive his faults after he makes a commitment to change but if he never change then it's time for him to hit the road.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • He says that he plays video games so that he won't watch porn but it seems backwards to me becuase the games he plays has females on it that look slutty and i have told him before that is makes me feel insecure when he is playing that game. Our kids are under 3 we both work at a christian boarding school with teenagers. Those are the kids he is starting to act like. And i have heard that some of them think he is a hypocrite and immature as well. we do go to church, in fact he is the religion teacher here and has a degree in theology, but i don't trust the pastor here. I just don't understand why he is acting like this and its not just me who sees it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • He is not verbally abusive to me. He is just loud and obnoxious and says dumb stuff all the time and when I ask him to calm down he says he feels disrespected. It feels like he is just an attention seeker and i wish he could watch himself on video to see how silly he acts all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I know how this is going to sound, but bear with me.

    Stop complaining about him in prayer and start being thankful. I know it's not the same situation at all, but I read this the other day and I've started doing the 30 days of Thanksliving. I'm only on day 5, but I have noticed a change in myself already. I imagine that it would work in your situation too. At least to help the way YOU feel about things.

    http://jocelyngreen.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/30-days-of-thanksliving/

    Oh and I also second counseling through your church. Sometimes we take our spouse for granted, especially when they are around all the time.

    I also highly recommend the books Love and Respect and the 5 love languages.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:37 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Maybe try counseling through a different source? Maybe a marriage retreat?

    The big red flag to me is that he's saying that he's playing video games so he doesn't watch porn. He's just exchanging one addiction for another. It's not going to do him any good. If he has an addictive personality, he needs to step away from all potentially addicting things... including video games.

    My husband is sometimes loud and obnoxious as well, that's just who he is. Sometimes I need him to calm down and other times I can let loose and have fun with him. It CAN be annoying when you just want to relax, but it can also be engergizing and fun.

    Perhaps he really does feel disrespected. Now I REALLY recommend the book "love and respect". It's based on biblical principles that men NEED unconditional respect just as women NEED unconditional love.

    Try to talk him into counseling, at least go by yourself.

    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:42 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • you can't fix him but yourself and your image of him. it's not easy liking your husband but there was a reason you fell in love with him. you just don't see it. try to find out and just keep praying.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:15 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

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