Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't know what to think of this...what would you do? May be TMI?

I posted before about my SO beating off instead of having sex with me...Some of you responded that if there is no porn involved I should be fine. Well, I just found out that WHILE I AM SLEEPIN and he is in bed NEXT to me, he is watching porn on the playstation3 and beating off. I figured it out doing my own investigation and trust me i know for a FACT! You don't want to know the details. lol. But he lies and says he plays video games and goes on the computer on myspace before he comes to bed. But now I know whats really going on. What should I do? Let it slide? Try to stay up and catch him? Confront him? He gets mad when I ask him about it. I'm not quite sure why. But it drives me crazy. What am I doing wrong? He says he LOVES having sex with me. Is he lying? I don't know what to make of all this. I'm hurt, I'm confused. What do I do? What would YOU do? Please help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If YOU have a problem with him watching porn then he should have enough respect for you not to watch it. End of story.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • You can mess with the parental controls on your PS3, so that he cannot watch...haha! Yes, Ps3 has parental controls. figure out how to block the porn.

    I would catch him red handed though. I would walk out there buck naked & simply ask "would you rather beat of to those whore, or would you rather come fuck me"

    The next day, change the parental settings on your PS3....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:59 AM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I would be very hurt, confused, and upset too! You should be the one who is angry not him! I would let him know that he has to choose between having sex with you and porn. Catch him in the act and let him know that it's over because you have needs that need to be satisfied.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 12:01 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • sounds like he has an addiction to porn..and i no alot of men who are obsessed with jacking off..its not that hes unsatisfied with u its an addiction.i would confront him and if ur comfortable enough with this idea ask him if u could watch with him,have him jack off in front of u it would turn him on and he wouldnt feel like u r disgusted by him..we all have our kinks embrace his use it to ur advantage.if u particiapate u might not feel so threatened.
    coffeefreak996

    Answer by coffeefreak996 at 12:08 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I think he needs some help. That sounds too excessive and maybe a sexual addiction? Tell him you are hurt and suggest he get help. I would be worried about him.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I'm the one who posted this question, and coffeefreak996, I DO do that. We both get off together quite frequently. We have a very active and creative sex life. It's not like we NEVER have sex. We have toys we use on each other, or watch each other use. We do those things...that's why I'm worried. The fact that he does it while in bed with me while I'm sleeping...thats creepy. I'm not disgusted with him, I know it's natural for men to do this, but he does it sooo much, and behind my back. Plus he always talks about how he wants a threesome...what about that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • Wow....you sound very open minded and maybe he is taking advantage of this. He is being sneaky and that IS creepy. Maybe he has a sexual addiction.....you need to stick up for yourself and be direct. You do not wants his issue to get out of hand and lead to other things. Have a talk. Maybe he is embarassed or maybe he likes the secret and finds it a turn on. Figure out what you find acceptable behavior. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • 1st...stop blaming yourself. Its HIS issue, not yours.

    Next...confront him. He needs to know that you know whats up and how it makes you feel.

    Men will beat off, I think it relieves stresses for them so I dont think its always because they hate having sex with their partner. Its just a release for them that they need to do for themselves. Like some people go to the gym to run the track to release their energy/stress...no one else can do it for them and the same goes with beating off.

    However, he needs to know full force how you feel about it. If you can, get him to talk to you about anything that might be bugging him. Let him know you are there in EVERY aspect and then let it go.

    If there is some kind of compromise you can work out(as far as porn looking goes) then do so. But you need to let him know exactly how you feel and that you are there and then leave it at that. The rest is up to him.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.