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is there a rule that you cant continue to be friends with a friend's ex after they break up?

So my best friend was dating this guy for about 3 years. Naturally we too became friends (me and the guy). Everytime we hung out as a group, he was there. Most of my memories of fun times during the last three years include him. Well they broke up, and not because he did anything wrong, ie cheat, (in which case I would not even consider still being friends) they just broke up because they didnt feel "in love" anymore. now its been a while, a few months, and me and him still talk on facebook, he helped me out with my car recently, and even got a present for my little boy's birthday. But I just kinda feel like im doing something wrong. Like im breaking the girl code by continuing to stay friends with him. What do you think? I havent really told my friend that I continue to talk to him..

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Nov. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think it's fine, but you need to tell your friend you talk to him....because if she finds out on her own, and knows that you werent the one to tell her she may think somethings up. Other than that, I think it's fine to be friends with him!

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 12:24 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • In my book you would be fine, but every girl is different. My girlfriends and I always had the don't date the ex rule but not don't talk to them. Good luck!

    Answer by jenree33 at 12:25 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • My best guy friend is my best girl friend's ex. They too were in a relationship for years, and it just didn't work out in the end. In the beginning it was a little weird, but they eventually moved on. She is now married with 2 kids, and he is now best friends with my husband.

    If you truly have a great friendship with this guy, you shouldn't feel guilty. If you're feeling romantic feelings towards him, you should definitely talk to your friend first before pursuing.

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 12:29 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • There should be no rules....don't worry about it. Its good to be friends and not take sides.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • and you shouldnt tell her that... and you are breaking the girl code, if she is pissed .. she might see it as you betrayed her trust for him, you kinda have to deside what you value more --- her friendship or his in case it comes to a head, would you be willing to lose that friend to keep him as a friend... i do think what you are doing is wrong and you should be true to your old friend.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:35 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • First you need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her you are still friends with her EX. See how she feels about it. If she does not like it. You might have to choose between them. I know the rule is you are not suppose to date your Friends EX's. But just being friend with them I do not know.


    Answer by louise2 at 12:37 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

  • I don't personally feel that men and women are ever really just friends. No matter how much they've hung out together, helped with car repairs or bought presents for children. In this case though, you should probably be honest with your friend and see how she feels. If she feels betrayed you have to decide who matters more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

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