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Single mom - what does that mean to you?


If you hear someone refer to themselves as a single mom, do you think the person was never married to their child/ren's father?

Should divorced moms call themselves divorced moms, widowed moms call themselves widowed moms? Is the term single mom soley for those who have never been married?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 AM on Nov. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • To me 'single mom' means a mom who is living alone with the kids and is doing most/all the parenting herself. My step-cousin is a single mom- she never married the father of her kids. My mom was a single mom- when she divorced my dad and raised my sis and I. My husbands sil became a single mom when my husband's brother died of cancer 5 years ago.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:58 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • It means you are a mom who is available. Who is taking care of her child and herself. Whether she wants to date or not, is totally up to her
    christinkie

    Answer by christinkie at 6:37 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • i think of both...my mom was divorced and we saw our dad everyother week and i still considered her a single mom
    JocelynsMama1

    Answer by JocelynsMama1 at 6:51 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • It means there are children who don't have the every-day presence of their daddy in their home, and it means that they are missing out on a relationship with the man who is the most important leadership figure that they will ever need in their lives. It means that little boys don't have their dad to model for them what it means to be a husband and father. It means that little girls don't get to learn how they should expect to be treated by guys in general. It really doesn't make that much difference to the children whether their mom is divorced, widowed, or was never married. The results to them are exactly the same--they do not have their daddy present in their lives every minute of every day. The hole in their lives is the exact same size. Their pain is equally hurtful. The only difference is that if their mom is widowed, they grow up knowing it wasn't her choices that caused them to be deprived of their dad.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:54 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I'm technically a single mom. I'm not married, was a long time ago. I do have a longtime s/o but we're not married. I go by what I fill out on my taxes and I'm pretty sure there's not a "divorced" or "living w/ s/o" option.
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 9:25 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I have called myself a single mom & then stopped myself & thought "wait....i'm in a relationship, technically I'm not single"

    To me, a single mom is a woman who it single, who is supporting herself & her kids. Once she marry's, she should no longer be a single mom.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:56 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Does it matter? A single mom is a mom who is on her own with no Daddy to help raise the children in the home.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:20 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I think a single mom is single, for whatever reasons, it really doesn't matter. I don't jump to conclusions about why a woman is single. There's always more to any story than what you see.

    "The only difference is that if their mom is widowed, they grow up knowing it wasn't her choices that caused them to be deprived of their dad." --NannyB

    NannyB, i feel sorry for you that you are so judgemental and harsh on single women out of ignorance, prides? or whatever your reasons for it.

    I was a single mom a week after i found out i was pg. My husband had a gf. When i found out i was pg. (we did fertility-he signed consent forms, so he knew what was going on!) my ex told me he changed his mind, he didn't want to be a father and he wanted nothing to do with "it". He thoguht since we were doing fertility that meant i couldn't get pg. so he didn't care. He said he just did it to appease me so i wouldn't find out about his gf....
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 10:27 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • ...cont....but then he got caught and had to fess up. he told me he would not stop seeing her and i had to deal with it. He agreed to go to counceling (yes, i still wanted to work it out b/c i didn't believe in divorce). But after the baby was born, he became physically abusive to me, so i left. My child is much better off, and so am i.

    It may have been my "choice" to deprive my child of the father on a daily basis (he's allowed to see the child still), but i have NO REGRETS that what i did is right by my child. No child should have to grow up in an abusive enviornment!!!

    So, NannyB, before you judge single moms so harshly, maybe you should go volunteer in a domestic abuse organization and educated yourself as to why some women NEED to be single moms.
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 10:32 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • and fyi, years later now, i'm remarried to a wonderful man who treats me and my child with the utmost respect and love. My child has a great father relationship with my husband and is living and growing up in a very healthy enviornment. My ex still choses to be a "disney land dad" and see his child occasionally.

    So, NannyB...if i had stayed with my ex, so my child wouldn't be "deprived" of a father in "daily life" as you put it, would we have been better off? NO. I may have been single for some years, but even when i was single, my child and i were very happy. Now, we are that much more blessed.
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 10:38 AM on Nov. 6, 2009