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A bad past~Painful experience=?

I had a very intimate relationship with a boyfriend when I was in high school. It was an insane situation. When I look back on it,I would die if I though my dd was having a relationship like I did at the same age or any age for that matter. That is how badly I feel about it now.
I went to a boarding school and met a boy,we were sexually active and together nearly ALL the time or basicly anytime we wanted. It became an abusive situation. I got pg and it came to bad end-w/my mom forcing me to abort against my wishes. There were some good times though and I did love him dispite all the bad. You can imagine how bonded kids become when they are dumped in a boarding school like that. My question is How can I look back on that time in my life? It's very painful. I know it is said that we are who we are because of the experiences we have had. I wish I could erase that time in my life. How can I change the way I feel?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Nov. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • We have all at one point or another gotten in situations that are regrettable and hard to understand once we are out of them. You went through what you went through. Lessons that are painful are often those we learn best from and remember the most. You can't change this, and you have more life experience and wisdom now, some as a result of that experience. Just remember you were only trying to be happy at the time and your mother was only trying to help you not have to suffer for mistakes that are bound to happen. No one is perfect. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything you have done in your past unless you choose to give it. Don't be so hard on yourself for being in that situation - it was what you chose at the time. It didn't turn out well, so be it. Nothing is ever black & white, good or bad. Take all that you can from the situation and let go of judging yourself. You're fine. ((hugs))

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I know, I feel the same way. We are lucky to have good girls. All you can do is acknowledge it is the past and be happy it's over. Cherish what you have now and remind yourself how far you have come. Your past does not define you.


    Answer by JenNAY3 at 10:29 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I had a very wild past, despite what many of my family members know... I look at it this way, if you're not repeating it and have moved on in the right direction then you have learned from it and should keep moving forward. You should be proud of yourself for excepting it, owning it and being the best you can no matter what it was.. Hope that made some sense..

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:39 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I was promiscuous as a teen. I felt remorse over it. I learned though that kids do stupid stuff. Im sorry you were forced to have an abortion. I dont know what to say about that, except mabey some counseling could help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Make the decisions to accept that it's your past you cant go back and fix it now. You were both young. Your past is what makes you who you are today. It will either make you weak or strong. It's up to you which of those you choose!

    I had a wonderful/horrible childhood. On one hand I had all I could ever want, the best schools, clothes, a car for my 16th. On the other hand I was being mentally and sexually abused by a family member. When I finally got away from that my HS bf and then exh began the same things. He thought since I was "used to it" he could do it too. I over came my childhood and when I stood up to my exh he would try and get physical. By, that time I had already made up my mins I was worth my weight in gold, whipped the snot out of him then threw his things out on the lawn and called the police to have him removed from MY home. I've been happy ever since!

    Accept you for you, love yourself!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 1:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

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