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20 year old won't go to school. advice?

My 20 year old is still in HS . He keeps refusing to get up and go most mornings. Sometimes he will go in late. I have tried almost everything, taking vehicle away, constantly bugging him and fussing until he gets up. He goes back to sleep when I leave the room. I have tried talking to him. I even grounded him a few times. He is not disrespectful , just lazy. I'm very frustrated. What else can I do ? He is just screwing up his future.


Asked by blessed11x at 10:51 AM on Nov. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (30 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (67)
  • Since he is an adult you can give him notice. I would sit him down and say something like:
    honey I love you, but I have had it. You are 20 years old, it is time for you to start acting like an adult, not a 2yr old. You have XXX days/months to get your life together or you are out the door! If you want to keep living in MY house you WILL follow my rules- if you do not follow my rules or break my rules you will have XX days to get your stuff packed up and move out!
    #1- you will go to school everyday on time and do all the work expected of you
    #2- you will get a part time job
    #3- you will pay rent and pay for your extras (cell phone, car whatever)
    #4- you will start helping around the house, doing your own laundry, chores and cleaning


    Answer by MizLee at 12:13 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I can't believe you are "punishing" a 20 year old. Haven't you figured out by now punishment doesn't work. Punishment never teaches good behavior.

    He should be in adult ed classes.

    Tell him go to school and get passing grades, or get a full time job and pay you rent, or find somewhere else to live.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:56 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • First off he's 20. If he won't do what he needs to do time to kick him out. Give him2 months to show that he is either going to school getting good grades or a job. Then you can do one of two things. I have friends who have done this. Drop him off at a homeless shelter or drop him off at recruiting center. Both boys who had this done to them turned their life around. What it comes down to is he no longer a baby he's a man. Time to man up.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 10:56 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • cut off all of his money. let him know that you hope hes gonna have a great life with no money to do anything. im 22, and my mom pays all of my bills but only on one condition - i go to college. do what you gotta do. tell him if hes not gonna follow your rules of going to school then he needs to take care of himself, he needs to move out of your house & pay all of his own bills, and you need to be serious about it, even if that means actually kicking him out until he learns his lesson. and then im sure he will figure it out.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:57 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • What would I do? Take away anything that I am providing that they aren't paying for...cellphone, computer (if not required for school), car, allowance...and let him know that if he fails out of school, he is legally and adult and will need to find a job to support himself and an apartment.
    There are no free loaders in my home.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:57 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I say he is 20 and theres only a few options left for a child that old. Kick him out and let him realize he had it good at home. Or keep going like this and let him think he can railroad you whenever he feels like it.

    At 20 i was married and living on my own for 3 yrs. I had a full time job and was trying to get into college. @0 yrs old is way old enough to get your act together anc stop mooching off mommy and daddy. He needs a reality check.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Tell him to get his ass up and go to school or he is not living in YOUR home anymore! And don't just threaten,mean it. Don't facilitate it!

    Answer by Steff107 at 10:58 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • oh & BTW, yano - i did REALLY bade in highschool. i hated it. it wasnt for me. just the hole high school atmosphere, so i got my GED & went to my local community college & that worked out so much better for me. maybe you should tell him to do that ...

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:58 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Kick him out. At 20, you need to either be in school full time or working full time.

    Answer by EireLass at 11:00 AM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • You can't get recruited withou a highschool diploma...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Nov. 6, 2009