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Was I wrong to stop Breastfeeding? I don't think there was any choice.

So, I loved breastfeeding. Bfed my first for 8 months then had a severe lupuis flare up and had to go on meds not safe for her. Anyway this question is about my second. She was born 8 lbs, and seemed fine at first. Then she stopped gaining weight, started losing. She had severe hypotonia (lack of muscle tone) and was a failure to thrive baby. She had completely rejected one breast and had poor latch and didn't eat well period. After time my supply dwindled even though I tried everything to keep it up. We also found out at 3 mos she had a milk protein allergy so I had to remove lactose gluten and whey from my diet. After 2months of that and her weighin only 11 lbs at 5 mos I finally decided I needed to wean, and since she has gained weight a little more steadily. I don't think that there was anything else I could do, it broke my heart. But I see soo many women on here who think ANYONE that doesnt df is selfish, so just curious

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Asked by SweetPea05 at 12:11 PM on Nov. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 8 (230 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • Do what works for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Yeah, well those women clearly are closed minded and do not understand some of us are not given a choice. We are trying to do the very best for our children and honestly, that does sometimes mean to formula feed... My son cried and screamed for 2 straight months everytime he ate.. I had the blandest diet in the world but It could have been the stress of his colic or him not being able to stool that made him in so much pain, no matter what I altered, he was in SO much pain. He unlatched up to 50 times per feeding which clearly made his gas horrible. at 1 we learned he has lactose issues and dairy intolerance and I know there is more but they won't test him due to inaccuracy of the tests.. I cried for weeks because I had to stop BF ing him... its not always a choice though - those women who think that will think it no matter what, you know the truth and did what you needed to do for your baby...

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • you gave breastfeeding a shot and you tried and tried! thats all that matters: is that you tried! i'm sorry about all the issues and that you had to wean...but you have to do what you have to do sometimes :)

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:19 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • maxsmom- do we have the same child? :(
    I guess after reading a lot of the posts lately has me wondering if there was something more I could have tried. Although I really doubt it my baby needed to eat SOMETHING.

    Thanks Owl.

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • i think whatever mom decides is the best. with my first i bf for 8 months. but then my milk started to dry up bc i was now 4 months pregnant with my second. now that my second is here i am breastfeeding, but since i left the hospital i have only been pumping. with chasing around a one year old bottle feeding breastmilk has been so much better for me. i also give a bottle f formula each day. this was i know my baby will accept formula should i not be around. i think you did the right thing. i was formula fed as a baby. im fine. i think you are just feeling some guilt, and you def do not need to! hope your baby is doing well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Oh sweetie, don't beat yourself up, you really had no choice and 8 months is 2 months longer than I managed to do it, just be happy you have it worked out and don't stress!! If you had adopted her she would have been formula fed--LOL Sorry about the lupus, I am sure you made the right choice!

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:33 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Gosh I know how it feels to feel guilty about it. "If only there was something more I could've done!" That stays in the back of my mind when I think about my BF experience. I didn't last for more than a week, though. I tried while in the hospital and then it just all fell apart at home. The LC swore that my daughter had a great latch, but it burned and ached with every single suck. I just couldn't take it, I couldn't even sleep because my boobs were in so much pain. My nipples were cracked and sore and bleeding, even with lanolin and hot showers, I was miserable. Plus I was depressed, that didn't help the situation that much. I was so unhappy. I'd wanted to BF so badly, we even bought a $100 pump and it just went to fucking waste because I ended up FF.

    But no, people love telling you and me that we didn't try hard enough, or that we're selfish and evil and stupid. Truth is, we're NOT. We did the best with what we had =)

    Answer by caitxrawks at 12:34 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Oh oops It was my first that I fed til 8 mos (that was really not under my control so i feel no guilt there) and my second about 6 mos when i had to stop. I am trying not to, its just hard and she is having all these other health problems so it just breaks my heart :(

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • There are lupus meds you can take while breastfeeding.

    Breastfeeding would have been best for your baby. Obviously you weren't being helped by a LLL Leader with your first babe or you would have known you didn't have to wean to be treated for lupus. Breastfeeding is actually an advantage for moms with lupus.

    Mothers often think things in their diet are a problem when actually its pretty rare. It sounds like there was a lot of breastfeeding mismanagement going on.

    You asked the question and you have to be prepared for any answer. As an advocate for your baby, yes you were wrong to stop breastfeeding. There were other things you could do and you can still relactate. Rent a hospital grade electric pump. Contact a local LLL Leader or LLLI.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • I had a hospital grade pump. I tandem pumped and pretty much pumped whenever possible to try and rebuild my supply and it never really came back in. With my first you are probably right, I didn't have much support and didn't know there were meds I could take. This time around I tried and tried for five months and she just was not growing and I could not get my supply up and it killed me. And trust me it was something in my diet that was a problem and I am very aware of the rarity of her allergy. She screamed in pain for 2 mos straight before they diagnosed her allergy, couldnt poop and when she did there was blood in the stool. Anyway once we got rid of the dairy in my diet she stopped crying the way she was, but my milk supply never came back in :(.

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 12:48 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

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