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preg.. husband acting like a d-bag. on the verger of losing it!?

my DH just won't grow up. I guess I should have dated him longer before we got married. This past weekend ... he left the house and went to a club supposidly going to pick up a friend bc his ride left him. well i just checked my account which we do not share an account together that he used my card for 61.00! I am furious. Which means he went up there to hang out and used that as an excuse. I am tired of his shit. he has a kid and one on the way. Every time he drinks he does something stupid. one of the times he left and went and bought drugs. another time was in new orleans... said he got kidnapped... had a mark on his neck and i think it was from a hooker if you want to know the truth.

seriously.. what is going to take him to grow up? i told him the other day he is going to wake up one day and I will be gone.. mentally, physically.. whatever. He just got pissed.

How would you handle this?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Nov. 6, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • tyoed real fast so i hope this makes sense. I am just so tired. my famlily has no idea what really goes on. i feel like i am living a secret life. if my dad knew he would beat his ass
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Maybe your dad should know.
    Maybe it's good for him to get pissed when he hears how you're feeling. What's wrong with sharing your perspective?! If he doesn't like it then he needs to explore why.
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 1:55 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • How old is he? Sometimes it takes them longer than we want to wait....

    My husband was pretty reckless the first three years or so that we were together. He had ZERO concern for anyone but himself. Parties, drinking, cheating... the whole nine.

    I can't tell you what's right for YOU... but I CAN tell you that I stuck it out and didn't give up... and one day he sorta just... grew up. He woke up, opened his eyes, and everythign changed. You can't really force it. For us, it was worth the wait.

    There's a few advantages: 1) He feels SO BAD for those first few years that he is AMAZING to me now. He works hard, takes care of me and the kids... I'm SPOILED SPOILED SPOILED!!! He's making up for it BIG TIME. 2) He values me in a way that no other man ever would because I stuck with him and loved him in spite of his problems...

    I would never tell you "deal with it"... because some women can, some can't... and with kids, CONT
    livn4hevn

    Answer by livn4hevn at 1:59 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • You HAVE to do what's best for your babies... so if you don't want to stay, or you don't want to put up with it? Don't. Cuz I can't even promise that all of the men in the world will change the way my husband did...you gotta do some soul searching and see what you really want. Is he worth fighting for? Is your love worth keeping? Is he enough for you and your family? Then fight for what you deserve and don't give up. For better or for worse was NO JOKE!!!!!

    However, if you don't feel safe with him, or if you don't think he'll change enough to ever be a good father, or if you do'nt want your kids seeing him come home with hickies from hookers.... then go. In fact, RUN!!

    A middle-of-the-road answer is to seperate for a while. Make him see life without you... that makes an impact as well.

    There's no right or wrong answer here. I would just say follow your heart. And put your babies first.
    livn4hevn

    Answer by livn4hevn at 2:02 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • if i was you, i would leave him. go find a real man, your soul mate, someone who would never treat you like that and someone who will be a real step FATHER to your child.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 2:05 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • he is 32. his stories just never add up. i get mad for a day and then he cheers me up. i love him and it sucks cause he doesnt "get it"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

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