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they say like me because Im QUIET???

okay so my hubbys side of the family does not like me for the most part
we spent thanksgiving at his cousins house and I was a bit uncomfortable because it was my first time meeting everyone and NO ONE tried to talk to me or get to know me. I felt like an outsider. :(
well their reason for not talking to me was because im quiet, and secretive, they even called me a BITCH. my thot is of course i was quiet no one even cared to talk to me, my hubby did his best but they didnt care

well this year we're going to do thanksgiving at my families house instead since that was very weird for me and hubby and we were going to go spend a day w/his side later, since baby will be a newborn as of next week hopefully.

I dont think i want to be in an awkward position again..in m family its totally different as far as hubby goes.
y wud some 1 not like me because i felt left out?
would you make an effort to go see them?

 
DomoniqueWS

Asked by DomoniqueWS at 4:15 PM on Nov. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, it was the first time they'd met you. This could be a total misunderstanding. They didn't know you were shy. Maybe they didn't know how to reach out to you? I think most of the hurtful things in this world were never meant...I don't think that many people could be so mean! Don't write them off. Try again. But this time, have DH tell them ahead of time that you are shy and were uncomfortable. Perhaps he could ask one certain relative, like a sister or cousin, to hang with you a bit and introduce you around and help you to be comfortable.
    Hpoe you have a great time with your family and give his one more shot. :)
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:39 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • My stepbrothers and sisters are like that to me. They ignore me completely. So I usually jsut play with the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • are the all very open with eachother? maybe they though you are witchy bcuz you didnt make an effort to talk to them. I would try again and this time be more out going.
    Mrs.Oriaku

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 4:18 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Ooops
    i meant to put they say they dont like me because im quiet
    sorry
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:19 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • My husbands family was the same way. They thought I was stuck up because I wasn't really talking to everyone. I'm a very shy person and it's difficult for me to be around a lot of people I dont know. Now they love me. You need to make an effort to start conversations with them and feel part of the family. The only way they can get to know you is by talking to you. You are new to there family so they'll criticize you until they know you. I know its hard but act like you want to be there and want to talk to them.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 4:21 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Well you said you are secrative. Maybe that's why they don't like you.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 4:59 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • some times quiet DOES come off bitchy and rude. Go in head high, MAKE EYE CONTACT, say hello in a warm clear voice (not a whisper). Ask hubby to tell you something interesting about each family member... and ask them about it.

    Waiting for someone to make the first move is childish.

    YOU make the first move.... example.. "oh hi suzie hubby tells me your really into xyz Id love to know how you got started in that" Make it sincere... ask follow up questions... make eye contact and refelct back what they are saying.

    People LOVE to talk about themselves.... get them talking and ask intelligent questions... they will think you are wonderful.

    MAKE IT HAPPEN... YOU CAN DO THIS! They are going to be in your life for a LONG time... make it work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Sounds like they don't know how to approach you. If you don't feel like you can approach them. Make sure you smile at as many people as you can. Try and be helpful. Offer to clean or refill stuff. If you do feel that you can approach someone. Ask them about them self, who doesn't like talking about themselves or job or kids.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 6:02 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Its not that I didnt try 1st
    when I realised I didnt get what I was expecting, like how my family was to my hubby
    Im used to if theres a guest you greet them, introduce yourself, try and make them feel welcome
    well when I didnt get that from anyone I took it upon myself to makee sure I was introduce and its like you can tell when ppl are really short with you that they dont want to talk to you so I just left it at that. So my defense is to just keep to myself.

    we have seen them again a couple times after this whole thing and I got an apology from one person and I excepted it and the rest still wanted nothing to do with me. I just ended up playing babysitter so that I wouldnt have to deal with ppl giving me rude looks.

    But I will try again, I was just thinking I ididnt want the petty drama because now Im a new parent and I know I will get looked down upon for that too
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:23 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

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