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Troubled Teen, no respect for mother or anyone

I have a brother who is 16 who has gotten into trouble last summer and than this summer got a owi and then expelled from school bc of a racial prank he pulled and then snuck out of my moms house and went to a college party and drank and took something so he was so out of it he got beat up with a bat bc he slept in a mans truck. He talks back to my mom and threatens her leaves without her consent and shes had it. Shes worked two jobs to bring us up and gve us all we have and now he is uncontrolable and shes lost it. shes never given up and now she hates her life and doesnt know what to do. Im stuck in the middle and dont know what to do or say to either of them! please help, what can we do, boot camp> what? couns;ling isnt working... please help he doesnt listen to anyone even me his sister, we used to be best friends

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Nov. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • Boot camp.
    Sounds like he's headed for juvi or jail.
    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 4:20 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • You can always call CPS and tell them you have have an incorrigible child in the family. They will put him where he needs to be. Sounds like he needs a strict structured environment.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 4:30 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Boot camp may be a good option. You need to find out what started this rebellion in the first place, though, or it won't get better. Is it just teen stuff? Maybe some friends who are bad influences? Stress about school or home? If the family does decide to send him to a boot camp, military school, whatever, you need to make him sit down with the family and explain why you all have made this decision; that it is for his good, you are concerned about his behavior and do not want him to throw his life away when he is so young and can still get things right. He may act like he doesn't care about anyone, but very few teens who behave that way actually do not care at all. Most are reacting to something, and if that something is removed or resolved they tend to improve.
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 5:14 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • You should be honest with him when you talk with him; don't sugar coat anything. Most likely he is smart enough to know when people do that and gets frustrated by it. Don't give up on him, there is still hope, but you and your family may have to get tough on him to snap him out of this behavior. Good Luck
    preacherskid

    Answer by preacherskid at 5:17 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • Next time he threatens your mom, call the police. Maybe a little time in Juvenile Hall will help him open his eyes and appreciate his home and family.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 5:20 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • His behavior maybe from drinking and maybe drug use. Drug use can make you do things that you normally would not. Either way it seems you need to get to the bottom of his problems. Your brother has to want to change his life. I suggest all of you getting together as a family and letting him know of all your feelings. Tell him of the love you all have for him but that he needs to get help to deal with his problems. Boot camp maybe helpful to him but it is always best if this is something that he wants. Hopefully with the love and support he feels from his family he will want to change this around. Don't give up, open up to him of your feelings and know that is the best you can do for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • The next time he threatens your mother or anyone else, CALL THE POLICE and press charges. He needs to be taught that he can't get away with his behavior and that there are consequences for HIS choices. Let the police deal with him. Or call CPS like another poster said.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:20 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

  • It's really hard to teach a 16-year old to respect and obey authority. It is not impossible but it is very difficult. It's one of life's most basic lessons and one that should be taught very early on. There have to to consequences for bad behavior in order to make it worthwhile to change the behavior. The next time she knows he's out somewhere drinking, she could call the cops and ask them to arrest him for underage drinking. Sitting in a jail cell for a while might get his attention, but she will have to let him get out on his own. If she intervenes and bails him out, the lesson will be aborted. She could also take away everything he has that she has bought for him, including his bed. If he has to sleep on the floor and do without everything except a couple of changes of clothes, he might get the message. The person who has the responsibility should also have the power, so she can take away what she has provided.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:28 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

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