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Interacting with an 18 month old question.

My daughter is going to be 18 months old soon, and is still very much an "parallell" player. When I do get down and play 1 on 1 with her she gets bored and goes off to do something else, and doesn't seem to want me to come with her. She is happiest to play by herself. We cosleep and are still nursing, and she nurses about 7-10 times a day (including 4 times at night), we read books every day, have snuggle and nursing time before naps and bedtime, and about once a week we have an outing where we go play in the yard, at the park or go play at the mall or to the library or something, plus she goes with me everywhere like shopping. Otherwise, she likes to play by herself. Is this OK? She is very happy and social and content, but I can't help feeling a little guilty at it, that she doesn't want to play with mommy (and that mommy does "mommy" things with that time, like reading, writing, etc). OK or no?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Nov. 7, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • yes, the majority of the day, my 16 month old plays by himself. I am always right there and we talk to eachother even though we are engaged in seperate activities.
    Think of it this way, if she can ask you to read or nurse, she can ask you to play. She would if she wanted you to.
    You said yourself that she seems happy with it. Dont forget that adults lack the ability to pretend and use their imaginations. Who knows what is going through that gorgeous little head of hers? I sometimes wonder if my son would rather play alone because I misread what he is doing. Maybe in his head he is building a castle and fighting a dragon and I come along and want to count the blocks as he stacks them....booooring. I can see him thinking "Ok, Mom if you want to count then go count the dishes. I am busy here and you are too logical." lol.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 1:56 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • there is nothing wrong with this. Its actually good when they can enertain themself to some degree and as long as she is social to some degree I am sure she is fine. My 19mos old plays by herself and other times with me or her siblings just depends on her mood! All of my kids have been pretty good at enertaining themself. And you doing mommy duties during that time is fine do not feel guilty! You sound like a wonderful mommy but kids like adults don't want or need to be social all the time.

    Answer by hill2 at 12:48 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • She needs time alone. She HAS to depend on you for everything but play so this is the only chance she gets to be independent. Let her have it. My son plays by himself ALL the time and we cosleep and I am CONSTANTLY hugging and kissing on him. If I was as smothered as he is, I would want to be by myself when I could too. lol. Throw in the fact that you are nursing 7-10 times a day still and I think she just wants her space.
    Nothing wrong with it, she is just human. :)

    Answer by jenellemarie at 1:22 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • OP here... even though she plays by herself for most of the day? I mean, we eat together and she will come up and ask to read a book or to nurse or something pretty frequently, but for the majority of the day I do my thing and she does hers. She seems happy with it, but I worry that I'm not doing a good job :(

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Its best to teach them to play by themselves. If you want to do projects with her , that would be good quality time but know her attention span is going to be less then 15 minutes.

    Answer by MSugarKane at 7:35 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • would you like to trade with me? that sounds great lol. my sons are too clingy and i try to encourage them to do independant play. nothing wrong with that

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:16 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • All kids are different, and she just like to entertain herself. I have a 19 month hold and I do everything that you do (nursing, co-sleeping, doing everything ) and my daughter is all about doing EVERYTHING with me. She might change when she gets older, but she just indepent right now. Hang in there girl!!

    Answer by Trishy7 at 9:35 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Perfectly natural. Infact you should enjoy the fact that she is content and happy playing on her own. She is a very indpendent child it seems and that's a good thing. She knows you're there when she needs you, but it's okay that she doesn't need you all the time. My son is very happy playing with himself for a couple of hours, but then he wants his mommy to come and chill with him. He doesn't neccisarily play with me, but he wants me to sit nearby to keep him company. Either way is perfectly natural and it's a good thing your daughter is content playing by herself. You have no reason to feel guilty either. You should take that time to do mommy things while she's playing. Not only does it give you that much needed break, but it allows the both of you a chance to miss one another. That helps makes those times you are together that much more special. Your daughter is indepdent that's all, and it's perfectly natural.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:57 PM on Nov. 7, 2009