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Having Parent Problems...not sure what to do.

Okay, so yesterday my parents watched my 3 month old daughter for about 5 hours so my hubby and i could spend our anniversary together. I am 20 and he is 22. We are young parents. I go to pick her up and its like I have no breathing room around them. I go to change her diaper and my mom has to be right there trying to help. I understand they are excited about being new grandparents, but damn give me some room to breathe. The same thing happened when I was putting on her coat, my mom had to get up and put on of my babys arms in the sleeve. Does it really take two to put on a coat? I tried to talk to her about it and explain to her why it upset me. She just got mad at me and threw it back in my face, telling me how she is stupid to love me because I mentally attack her! How is that fair! I told them that I just didnt want to be around them for a while. I dont know what else to do, i really cant take this anymore. Help!

 
Becca1189

Asked by Becca1189 at 12:38 AM on Nov. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,561 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • It's tough because they are being more then over excited about being grandparents. You only get to be a first time parent one time !!! If your mother can't understand that you want to do it and you want to reveal in these moments then it's her being a poor parent because she can't understand. I think that maybe time away is a good idea, Tell her you love her but you're finding it hard to be a good parent to your child when you feel smothered. Some parents find it hard to let go of their kids and take it out in negative ways
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 12:41 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • You're overreacting a little, hon. This is normal grandparent behavior. They're only trying to help. They'll grow out of it lol.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:41 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • i understand but remember you are her daughter. and imagine when you have a daughter. just breath, and try to treat them like inlaws. when my family becomes overbearing, i have no problem attacking. but when my inlaws do it, i just shut my mouth and take it. so ive been trying to just act that way with my family too. everything they do is out of love, even the smothering drive you crazy stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • i understand but remember you are her daughter. and imagine when your daughter has a baby. just breath, and try to treat them like inlaws. when my family becomes overbearing, i have no problem attacking. but when my inlaws do it, i just shut my mouth and take it. so ive been trying to just act that way with my family too. everything they do is out of love, even the smothering drive you crazy stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Be happy your little girl has so many people who love hr and you have parents who love you. That is something many people don't have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Is everyone overlooking the part where her MOTHER told her she was stupid for loving her?" That is a hurtful thing to say .... it's mean and it's awful I think on a minimum your mom owes you an apology... that is an u gly thing to say all because you want to dress your daughter on your own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I can understand that, I have been through it. It never last long because I've spent more time away. I can't learn anything if I'm being helped all the time. I let them know I only really needed their help if I asked and that I'd ask if I really and truely needed it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Yeah I've had my parents lash out at me too...She does owe you an apology. That was ugly to say.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I think you are being way too sensitive. If she wants to change the diapers and put on the coat when your baby is there, just let her do it. By the time you've had three or four, you will be glad someone else wants to help. I think first-time moms are somewhat fearful that they are being thought not good parents and don't see these things for what they really are. I'm sure your mom just wanted to help and meant nothing else by her actions. When you said something, she became just as defensive as you were being. You are not in a contest with your mom, and I don't thing she wants one with you either. You are both experiencing new roles and this is the adjustment period.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:29 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I do not think your mom meant any harm. It seems she just is trying to be there for you and your daughter. Arguing over something like this is not worth it. Please realize the love she has for the both of you and welcome her help. Don't feel like she is trying to take over. She is just wanting to be a part of your lives. Staying away for awhile will not only hurt your mom but your baby. Cherish the times your mom and your little one are together, life is too short.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

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