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took over my daughters myspace account..what do u think?

My friend called this evening and said check out your DD's myspace page. Its not good! So i did and what I saw was inappropriate pictures, language and her bashing me online. As her parent, I have full control of all of her web accounts. So i took them all over. Changed passswords, edited profiles, deleted pictures and talked very highly of our family. I basically gave them all a well needed face lift. Much better now...what do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:17 AM on Nov. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (26)
  • I think you went too far in my opinion. I'd be so pissed if I were her. I would've given her a good talk but myspace has become like an outlet for teens. Like a public journal. I wouldn't be surprised if she started to really rebel. GL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • She already started to rebel. To late for all that.!! Here's a few tiny problems...... Incomplete hw assignments, late to school, lies and tells stories. Manipulates to the degree of jail time!!! Tonight was the topper, she bashed me and showed no respect for me at all. I do agree w/ what you've said, I'm gonna make some changes. One last thing though.....she just turned 13!!! What now, deep thinker?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • She's finding herself right now and trying to show some independence. I was the same way when I was 13. The reason I was rebelling was for a couple of different reasons: 1. I was really into boys and was doing bad things with them and I would lie to do it. 2. All I wanted to do was be with my friends and my mom acting like she controlled me just pushed me away. I'm now 29 and have lots of time to think about what my mom could've done different. First, she should have spent more quality time with me. Second, my dad was an ass and I didn't realize how much him not being in my life affected me. Third, give her a little space or at least the illusion of independence that is guided by you but she thinks she is making the choices. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I get it! Thanks for the advice. FYI..... You hit home on a lot of things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • You went to far.
    Just because you prasied yourself on line means nothing.
    Allit will do is piss her off and make her go else where.
    She does have friends I assume they most likely have computers too.
    Allyou are doing is pushing her farther in to rebelling.
    What you should had done was talked to her instead of acting childish
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • You know when i was 13 i was rebelious with an attitude... not to the extreme that ours is doing it... my whole thing was that i wanted more mom and me time!
    What worked
    My mom grounded me- then while i was on restriction away from friends and other things she would take me places with her. Getting our nails done, going horseback riding, shopping. Anything just you and her time!!! do family dinner nights where you have dinner together and play games after or watch a movie... you know quality family time!! she will start to appreciate you more.
    Ashlei_nichole9

    Answer by Ashlei_nichole9 at 6:37 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I personally feel you went too far. I would have discussed it with her and told her that because of the inappropriate photos, language, and the disrespect she showed your family publicly, she would be grounded from the internet for a set amount of time and unless she removed all of the problems immediately, you would delete her account. Rewriting things and praising yourself was what went too far, in my opinion. I would have told her that she lost her rights to the internet with her behavior and needs to earn your trust back. Until then she could expect frequent checks on her myspace at any time and time limits on her internet access.


    Communication was really needed in this situation. I agree completely with anon :06. Your behavior was extremely childish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • When I raised my teens 10 years ago we didn't have the Internet. Raising children/teens today with the Internet has got to be challanging! When we did get our computer it was in the kitchen with the screen in full view of everyone. I put on parental controls even though my teens were almost adults. I do think you have to do everything you can to teach your children what should or shouldn't be on their websites. Employers DO check them out. Colleges DO check them out. You did the right thing even if your teen is mad at you.
    MSugarKane

    Answer by MSugarKane at 7:22 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I went into my son's myspace and facebook accounts too....he was talking drugs....it opened my eyes to a lot of things, but I never changed anything on his pages. I just thought about how to approach him, this was probably when he was about 15 and home was very stressful. I started to spend a lot more time with him (he didn't like THAT either!) and I called him out every time I thought there was pot/alcohol/other (Ecstasy) involved. I made him go to counselling, I drug test him at home and he has been clean for about 5 months now. He's almost 19. It's been very difficult, but since he never knew I was in his pages, reading what his friends said/etc, I don't know if I would have figured it out until it was much later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I think you went overboard. While it is in a public forum, I think for her, it was probably very similar to a diary. Would you have read her diary and then re-written anything bad she had written about you? I don't deny that what she did was inappropriate, being a public forum. Any time I felt the need to trash my parents (which, looking back now, was only when I was wrong and didn't want to admit it), I did it in my diary; of course, I didn't have myspace back then either. :)

    I think, if I were in your shoes, I'd sit down with my child and admit that what I did was wrong, and that I'm sorry I reacted out of shock and hurt feelings. Then I would clearly explain why what she did was inappropriate and what changes you want her to make to the page. Make her make the changes. Make sure she understands that you will be continuing to moniter her page and her internet time until you feel she has earned your trust back.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:25 AM on Nov. 7, 2009

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