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Rude in-laws and how money shapes family politics.

These aren't blood relatives. My SO has a BIG family. His brothers-in-law, the men who married his sisters, are jack asses. One is the jack-ass ring leader.

We are better off financially than all of them. Before SO & I got together, he let his family & in-laws come & go as they pleased & footed the bills at family functions. He was single and could.

We are planning a wedding and have a baby on the way. Money is now different. Especially since I will stay home.

However, they all expect that they can invite themselves to our house for Thanksgiving AFTER I told EVERYONE "We will be out of state on Thanksgiving. We are hosting a holiday party all weekend long on X date." I sent this in a family-wide email. I told them they need not bring ANYTHING & can stay all weekend.

King jack-ass sent an email to the whole gang about how I ruined the family's plans.

How do I get SO to put these people in their place? Do I do it myself?

Answer Question
 
ecodani

Asked by ecodani at 12:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,526 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Do it yourself. We have these same kind of problems all the time, like we will get invited to go out and eat with SO's family and then they expect us to pay for everyone's meal, because we are "better off" as they say. If you don't step up and say something then things will never change. They may get mad for a while, but they will get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Where do you live? We live in California and I've been married twice! Never seen that happen ever with in-laws. Just the opposite, maybe. I've seen someone in the family become well to do and actually break ties with the family for their own reasons. Choose what you'd rather have around you when that baby comes- family or isolation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I guess I'm very disappointed by the response I got to an invitation for a 3 day 2 night celebration at my home. I sent an invite to everyone to enjoy a party and I'm insulted that this was the response I got.

    To top it off, I'm pregnant and doing all the cleaning and cooking, and no one else has children nor is pregnant.

    I don't like being treated like we OWE them a good time on their schedule. I'm considering getting copies of Mrs. Manners Etiquette books for their stockings.

    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 5:33 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

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