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Why would my DH not budge on dropping my SS off half hour early to his XW to convenience us for something we have to do, but a week later he allows XW to drop him to our house 1 hour early so she can get errands run. He's not giving me a clear answer when I ask him. Should I be worried that his loyalties lie in the wrong place?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Nov. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe he didn't want to lose time with his son? Or didn't want to talk to his ex?

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 12:50 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Maybe he didn't want to give up that extra half hour of time with his son, and he got an extra hour by letting her drop him off? If his loyalties are to his son, then that is the right place. It sounds to me like he enjoys his time with his son, and he will take extra time whenever he can get it, and will not give it up. Sounds like a good dad to me.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:51 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • It sounds like his loyalties are with his son. He wanted his son for his full time allowed and then when she wanted to drop him off early-he wanted more time with his son. It is really not anything to be upset about.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 12:52 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Oh, I never thought about it this way, it does make sense. Just wish he could speak up and tell me this himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • Sounds like his loyalties are correctly with his child.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:02 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • They very much are, which is what attracted me to him to begin with. I tried forming a bond with his son when we started dating since his son was only 4. His son responded positively, but DH gave me subtle clues that I was invading his territory with his son. I still feel that way to this day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • "I wish he could speak up and tell me this himself."  I understand and agree, he should communicate his feelings and reasons with you. If everyone was on the same page then the stepfamily seems to be closer. Communication is so important!

    okmom2323

    Answer by okmom2323 at 1:14 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I really wouldn't be worried about this if I were you. Why would it be bad for him to do his xw a favor? Just because they're divorced doesnt mean that they can't get along
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 5:13 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

  • I guess if you look at it from a different standpoint, he refuses to ever ask her to change her schedule around, to suit his and our needs. Example: one day DH was sicker than a dog and it was best he not be at his sons soccer game to watch, but he was gonna go anyway bcuz he refused to ask his XW for a favor for her to stay and watch as it was his day and not hers for visitation. So I had to get on the phone and explain the situation to her and she was more than happy to switch with him and very understanding. So I'm not sure if this is a pride thing my DH has, or what!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Nov. 7, 2009

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