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How do you know when it is time to end a marriage?

My husband and I have been married for 9 years and we have a 6 year old son. I have been complaining about the same things for 10 years. He either doesn't want to listen or refuses to recognize what he is doing or not doing and change the behavior. Currently, I'm staying in the relationship so my son has a father. I'm just confused.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Jun. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I dont' know about your situation, but I have always heard that it is not time to end a relationship until you have not feelings left, either of hurt, anger, sadness. When you can imagine yourself leaving him, and you have NO emotion involved, either positive or negative, then it is time.

    IMO staying in a relationship just for the kids is more damaging. Kinds know stuff, they are not stupid. Especially at your sons age. I am sure he realized that you guys don't really get along. Sometimes having 2 happy parents, living apart, is better than living in a house with 2 cranky parents who fight all the time.

    Do research and learn how to tell your son that you are separating, if you decide to. How you explain divorce is key in how he will handle it. You may want to talk to a child counselor for advice.

    sapient

    Answer by sapient at 5:27 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Have you and/or your husband had any marriage counseling? I would hate to see anyone leave a marriage before having a third party listen and offer some advice. If you have a church your pastor could recommend a marital counselor. If not, ask around with your friends and see if someone recommends anything.
    mommytoadam

    Answer by mommytoadam at 5:34 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • How Do You Know If A Marriage Is Really Over - FamilyLobby.com
    How do we know that the time has come to just give up on the marriage and go our ... Another reason to end a marriage is that, despite your best efforts, ...
    articles.familylobby.com/373-how-do-you-know-if-a-marriage-is-really-over.htm -
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 6:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • I think if you have to ask a bunch of online strangers whether or not to end a marriage, it's time to end the marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • i wish i knew that answer sometimes i ask myself the same?
    armywife0907

    Answer by armywife0907 at 8:37 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • do you love him? does the good out weight the bad. is he worth fighting for? i dont beleave in the big D, so when thing hit the fan with me and hubby we fight for our marrage. marrage is not easy marrage is a fight to keep the person you love. no one can tell you if you should leave or not( yes people can but the true answer you already know) what does your heart say. now just bc i dont beleave in it does not mean that is right for you. you need to look deep inside yourself to find the answer, and if you are realy not ready to let go then fight like hell to keep your marrage and if you are then make it easy on your son,
    kbear

    Answer by kbear at 9:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • i think if u are unhappy and cant take it anymore then its time don't stay in because of ur child...my parents were together for 20years half of those years she was only with my father for us and it didnt do any good...we are all better now that we are seperated...my little sisters see him every two weeks and my parents get along fine now...some people are meant to b friends instead of husband and wife
    LuLu614

    Answer by LuLu614 at 10:08 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • First I would say to be sure you have exhausted all resources. Personally I feel that unless there is a good reason (such as physical abuse) that a marriage shouldn't end until the two people at least TRY counseling. After all other options are exhausted, I give the advice my mother has said: "You know your marriage is over when you can walk away and have no feelings of regret".
    MamaPyratekk

    Answer by MamaPyratekk at 9:18 AM on Jun. 25, 2008

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