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Divorce, custody study

DMRC....Sorry I can't remeber the exact intials, Domestic Relations something or other. My husband wants to have this done. I agreed. Has anyone else been through this?

What do they look at in your house?

What questions do they ask you and your kids?

I know there is nothing unsafe about my apartment, but it is messy, cluttered. I am about to go rent a storage space to get some of the stuff out.

Please anyone, share what could be a red flag on this.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • they wont look at your house unless your ex asks them to...then they can have a guardiam ad lietem check out you, your home, and talk to the kids...they will also do the same to your ex and go to his home and stuff. the only time the court will be concerned about wanting to talk to the children is if there is signs of neglect, abuse, or the child is old enough to voice an opinion on who they want to stay with...otherwise children typically dont get involved in it. most courts are in for the best interests of the kids...they will side with the mother TYPICALLY if there is no concerns...while the father will usually end up with visitations. also dont be suprised if this isnt the only hearing...if this is the FIRST court appearance you are going prepared for more.....the first hearing is usually a preliminary hearing to discuss both sides, most times nothing will be determined yet unless there is a pressing concern.

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 7:48 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Here in KY, it seems they are really big on "shared parenting". Where the child/children go back and forth between both parents and each has equal time. Either one week here one week there, or even split the weeks. A friend of mine has 4 children, she has them from Fri evening til Tues after school, they are at their father's the rest of the days. Another friend has her dd, from Fri evening til Sun evening, then again Wed after school and takes her to school Thurs morning. Honestly I'm not sure this is really in the best interest of the children, it seems to be more for the benefit of the parents.

    Answer by robyann at 8:46 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • They will look at your house and notes will be taken. They don't as far as I know take your kids away for a messy house, but it is a hazard to a child living in filth. Unfortunately there are homes like that and the children do need to be protected. Look around your home and be honest with yourself, would you think it was bad if it was someone elses home? Do you want a positive out come? Do you think your home will give you a positive out come? If this is just a home check I'm not sure what if anything they will ask your children. Was there an allegation of abuse or anything? If they see bruises they may ask what happened, don't panic if they have bruises that is expected with kids, like I said they may ask about the bruise. Don't try to coach the kids on what to say, the people/person visiting will be able to tell and then will think you have something to hide. You may feel more comfortable if you clean up the messy.

    Answer by mbc324 at 10:05 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • dont worry about your older son...they care more about if YOU are dissing the father in front of the children...thats a BIIIG nono....if you are doing corrective measures towards your oldest child to stop him from saying things about the father then you are doing what you can and it wont be held against you.

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 1:14 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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