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Is this a good enough reason to not get married?

I have student loans upwards of $40,000, plus about $10,000 in credit card debt (I am NOT a shop-a-holic. I just pay for everything, and don't work.) plus a car loan. He says he won't marry me because I have this debt. Is this an actual reason to not get married?
I wouldn't say yes anyway. But I just wanted to see what you thought about his reason.

Answer Question
 
sweetphoenix529

Asked by sweetphoenix529 at 10:27 AM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (139 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • No...but I wouldn't want to marry someone with that much debt!! If he REALLY loves you, that shouldn't matter though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Yes it is a reason not to get married no matter how much you love him or he loves you. It doesn't show financial responsibility.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • It is if he has to take over the responsibility for your debt (like if he were in the military).
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:36 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • p.s. why not work on paying off your debt before you set a date to get married?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:37 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Well, honestly, I can kind of see his reasoning. It's stressful enough being a newlywed/married couple at times. I think bringing debt into a marriage can definitely add to it. Does he have any debt? I can see paying off credit cards before marriage, and maybe the car loan...
    JDanesMommy

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 10:43 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Money shouldnt matter.. Now If you have a child and u arent working we all know that can be really hard on you.. it sounds like you are somewhat stressing out. not saying taht your taking all your anger out on him. but money that much debt is a lot. but if he really loves you that wouldnt matter. he could just smile and say honey we will pay it off soon.. bc if ur anything like me we are prob a good 600$ in credit card debt and I CANT STAND IT! bothers me, drives me nuts! i cant stand knowing im in debt. but it will be paid off soon. im giving myself until feb when husband leaves it will be gone! But just relax darling. when he says mean thins to yuo just smile and say I still love you. dont show your emotion i saw ur last post about him being mean 2 you. just smile my darling. your a woman, your beautiful and you have a child to be happy for :) stay happy darling :)
    Butterflyluvn88

    Answer by Butterflyluvn88 at 10:56 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • IMO... I think he has a good point. When you get married, doesn't your debt become his?
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:14 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • yes it could be a big great reason, because once you get married, your debt will be his debt, and if you dont pay it off or default on a payment hell be responsible for paying money that was never his debt to pay off....
    i suggest you get a job, or call a collections agency to lower your debt.
    jlouise03

    Answer by jlouise03 at 11:19 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Your debt does not become his debt! He didn't take out the student loans with you and if you don't put him on your credit cards or car loan it isn't his to pay. I know, I married a man with $20,000 debt BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. Yes, it hurts that part of his pay goes to the debt but I would still rather be with him than anyone else. He adds so much more to my life than money. I also don't think you are irresponsible with debt. It's completely normal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Wow, I hope you have a great job with that much debt are you done with school and will you be able to pay these off soon? I would have been working while in school that way you would be able to start some where to pay for it. I wouldnt marry you with that much. That is more then I make in a year and now you want to pay for a wedding? What type of wedding would you want? I wont. I learned many years if I dont have the money then I cant pay it I was 6,000.00 I paid for it before married. The only thing we have is house payment and the car loan. Everything else if no cash we dont need it.

    moma22angels

    Answer by moma22angels at 1:04 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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