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Is it too late for me to leave or do i have a right to be upset. Sorry for all the questions I just need some help I can't talk to anyone else about this!

Here was my other question. You will have to copy and paste the link to read it.

http://www.cafemom.com/answers/325980/My_husband_was_talking_to_two_women_behind_my_back_I_feel_like_its_a_horrablie_way_to_start_out_a_ma

My question now is everyone says I should divorce him. I feel stupid when I say I know that he loves me after what he did! How can you truly love someone and do this? And not with just one women but two? Everything seems to be ok right now. As far as I know he is not talking to them anymore. There numbers are still in his phone and they are both still on his myspace. I look at him differently now. I love him but, I don't feel as if he loves me the way I thought he did. It has been 4 months sense I found out do you think its too late for me to leave? Am I suppose to stay now? Also I know he would be heartbroken if I leave. But, how do I get the strength to worry about my feelings more then his?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You can divorce him at any time. What he did was wrong. If you think he has honestly stopped doing those things and has made an effort to commit to your marriage, you still have the option of staying or going. I don't know if you'll ever be able to trust him again.
    The only thing I would do before leaving is to get yourself in the best position possible, financially and with somewhere safe to go. Know your rights in regards to custody of your son and likelihood of child support. When that is in order and you can think you can make a go of it on your own, leave. You don't owe him anything, in the long run, he's made his mistakes and if it ruined his marriage he only has himself to blame.
    Six_on_my_own

    Answer by Six_on_my_own at 11:55 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I didn't read your other entry yet... but I have a good idea where this has gone. I want to tell you that I am newly separated from my husband of 10 yrs.... And I am scared and alone...with 3 kids... It's never to late to leave him... if your feelings are this way, theres a reason. It's called gut instinct...and we have it for a reason. In my opinion, if they did it once, they'll do it again.... I gave my hubby several chances to make it right and he even ended up telling me that he kept doing it because I forgave him once...why would't I do it again.... go with your gut feelings... it's a built in thing....
    Good luck.....
    littlewolf

    Answer by littlewolf at 11:56 AM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Girl don't feel bad about reposting! That's what we're all here for. If you need a friend to talk to you can talk to me anytime. Call me text me or message me.
    As far as him loving you, love is a choice. You choose to love someone, you choose to ignore urges and temptations. There is no excuse or cheating period. I think you're smart to have stayed for a while and it's not stupid to leave now, if that's what you want. Even though other ppl are telling you to leave, you seem a bit unsure. You can't do it for anyone else or for their opinion. Advice, take it or leave it.
    My ex hub and I were a terrible match. All my friends wanted me to leave him. I simply was not ready. Go to Dr.Phil.com. He has tips on how to know if you r ready for divorce. When u r truly ready, the strength will be there. you will walk away KNOWING w/all your heart it's the right thing.
    Untill then, nurture YOU and don;t worry about him. it will be ok
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Im actually going through something similar and I have felt so lost and wondering if staying is the right thing to do. Im pregnant, but its not why I stay .. I love him, but I do wonder why someone who loves you so much and claims to be your all can cheat. Mine only was a one night thing and he claims he was drunk and did not sleep with her. It still hurt and Im still thinking what to do its only been one month and Im still feel hurt. We start counsling tomorrow he has gotten a counsoler and stopped drinking. So Im looking at things positively. I hope it works with me and my DH .. As I hope things come out good for you and your DH ....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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