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How can you spoil a baby?

I'm really confused when people talk about spoiling babies by picking them up all the time and loving on them. I do not agree with the CIO method and think that its so sad that some mothers will just leave their infant in a room crying when they are obviously crying because they need something. But can someone explain to me how a mother who tends to her baby's needs promptly and showers him/her with love and attention as much as she can is SPOILING the baby? Since when is recieving tons of love and affection being spoiled?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Well, if you did that with a toddler, maybe. But you have to teach your children that they can count on you. As they get bigger, they can learn to wait. That's part of life. And if I can't get to her once, it's okay. It's the sum of our parenting, not one little thing. People think that if they shower their kids with love and affection their kids will get used to it. So, instead, they start off from birth being emotionally distant and teaching their kids that mom and dad can't always be there. I prefer to leave the waiting lessons until later, and it has paid off for me and my kids.


    And the first anon - some people SHOULDN'T have opinions!
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 3:00 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Well Sweetie Pie.. that is your opinion and your feelings... NOT EVERYONE's! Yes, you can spoil a baby because he can get used to be held for every little whim. NOT ALL OF US are SAHM, BFing, NON WORKING, Living off welfare parents who can afford to have a baby clinging to us at every moment of our lives... Some of us are busy working and making money, because that is our job as US citizens in an economic crisis!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Some people shouldn't have children, but they get pregnant anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • There is a point where a child learns that their parents attend to every whimper. I had to learn this the hard way. I would run when my child would whine just a little to make sure she didn't need anything. She then began to whimper and whine all the time. She would have already been fed, changed and loved on. I would put her down and then the whimpering would start. I had to learn that she needed to self soothe. It is a vital thing that you teach your child. I do agree with CIO. But only when it comes to bedtime. My LO cries or whines herself to sleep since she was 5 mos old. If she wakes up I go comfort and calm and then put her back to bed. There really isn't a point where you can spoil a baby, but they learn how to manipulate you and quickly.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 2:43 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • The funniest thing is that our babies "read" us much better than we "read" them!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Well anon, I AM a SAHM. I am not now nor have I ever been on welfare. So I take great offense to that part of your ignorant response. I am educated and so is my husband. We live very well without help from anyone and THAT affords me the option to stay home. I have nothing against working mothers, my problem is with those that feel that because we stay home we are all living on welfare. I worked for many years to get to a stable place where I could stay home. You are just ignorant.

    To the OP. It is MY FEELING that you can not spoil a baby. Toddler yes but not a baby. A baby can not do anything for themselves and we as mothers are responsible for doing everything for them. Attending to your babies needs is not spoiling them it is being a parent. And if you do not want children clinging to you, then you should not have children. You can not have a baby and expect them to take care of there own needs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Sorry. I did not mean to hit ANON. I am not ashamed to be a SAHM who loves to "SPOIL" her children. As long as I teasch them to be respectful, resposible men with morals and values, there is nothing wrong with me spoiling them. That is MY OPINION.

    I am ANON :47
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 2:50 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I never truly understood this either. I am a sucker when it comes to my children! With my first I went to her on demand! She is not spoiled now and she is extremely independent! She will be 4 in less than a month!! I have an 8 week old, she sleeps right next to me in her bassinet, and I hold her all the time! I don't see it as being spoiled, I see it as wanting to snuggle and love my child every moment that I possibly can! I don't take her life for granted, I want to spend every waking moment with my children. I love feeding her right when she starts fussing, and taking care of her pee/poop butt before she gets too worked up. I don't let her "fuss" it out, I will take care of whatever it is she needs when it needs to be done! I rock her to sleep every night and will continue to do so until she is old enough to fall asleep by herself, with my oldest daughter it was around 2 1/2 that she started sleeping with out my help!
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 2:53 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I completely agree with you both, JEAmom and Ali. I have a 3 month old son and since he's been born, he has never had to cry for more than a minute or two before I was there to take care of him. And you know what? Now he NEVER cries when he is with me. I am lucky to be a SAHM, for now at least, and NOT ON WELFARE as the previous Anon. insinuated that all SAHMs are, and I am home with him for the entire day and if he does cry it is because he has to burp or poop...not because he is trying to get my attention for something. On another question yesterday a mother accused me of spoiling him because I said he is never left to just cry. His pedicitrician actually told me that you cannot spoil an infant and that they are not capable of regulating their own emotions so when you think they stopped crying because they soothed themselves, they stopped because they gave up on their mother or father coming to help.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 2:59 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • How did that first anon manage to turn a parenting question into a lesson in economics lol? My head is spinning!
    benjamink

    Answer by benjamink at 3:02 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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