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How can I stop hating the mil and ex-wife in my life, when they don't treat me very well?

My DH mother and ex-wife have recently become BFF's. Well pretty much since the day we got engaged. (2years ago) From the first day I started seeing DH, the ex has never reached out to even acknowledge I exist. And MIL thinks I'm the reason why her relationship with DH has gone so bad. They are both very depressed people, who seem to think that me and DH are these evil, mean human beings. MIL thinks we've been mean to her all these years, and has taken up this very close friendship now with DH ex. I see comments they make to each other on facebook, and I hear things that they say about us to my SD. SD thinks that things would be so much better if me and her mom would just get along. How do I do that?

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Asked by Cassidylm at 3:00 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • And the problem is? You can't control them and who cares what they think? Stay away from them and do your own thing and be ok with you and all will be well. Stop making more drama.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Misery loves company. Sounds to me like two very bitter women just need someone to be bitter with. You can not make things better without making them worse. Your DH needs to bridge the gap with his mother and try to open up some communication with her. Once she starts to heal her relationship with him then maybe she will be more receptive with you and will not need the company of the ex as much. She will never cut the ex out completely because she is the mother of her grandchild(ren) but maybe she will stop the pity party with her.

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:06 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I would first stop looking @ their facebook pages... sometimes the best thing to do is to just ignore the ignorant people. Sounds to me like it's a bad case of misery loves company. They are turning to each other to wallow in their bitterness. Talk to your SD and let her know that you'd like for things to be better but sometimes adults don't always get a long so it's just polite to be polite and couretous when around one another and then try to avoid these two women. Cut them out of your life as much as possible

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Just live your life as best you can and don't give them a second thought. Hating them gives them power over your life when you could be using that energy to enjoy life with DH and SD. If SD says something just tell her you are willing to get along with mom but it's up to mom. That puts the ball back in the x's court and shows the child you are willing but mom's not being a team player

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:51 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • The only thing you can do is rise above it. Just keep taking the high road and don't let them get to you. It may take years, but things will mellow out over time. Just keep being friendly and nice and in the end things will change.

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:51 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • My SIL and my own mother do not like me and when we would go over for cristmas she would be talking about some activity they just did. I realize its hard to be isolated from them but they might need each other because misery loves company. Do not allow yourself to be brought into it stay off the face book and move on. I did. I realize they are important but do not let them get you down.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:41 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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