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Umm...ok

So is it unfair in some way that Dh threw a fit that we didn't have money to take the girls to the zoo today (they're both under 2 and free, it costed $20 for me to get in & that's all I spent) but he spends $ on his sister who comes down every weekend and has no job or money of her own? He buys her meals when she's here and sometimes pays for her gas (4 hour trip), and she doesn't just come once in a blue moon, she comes every weekend to every other weekend and has no job. I just want to know if there's something wrong with this picture or it's just me. By the way, this is the first time I've taken them to the zoo. Our normal daily "fun" is going to the park or staying home and doing things.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • If he could not go because he was waiting on his sister then yes i feel that he is being unfair. It should not matter if you guys are low on money or not. If he has the money to support his sisters weekly visits, then he should relinquish some of that money for his children. Money for the children would not be tight if he were not supporting his unemployed sisters weekly visits right? I would just make it clear to him that his sister needs to visit less or pay for her own visits so that there is more money for his children.
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • He is being totally unfair. Sounds to me like he is jealous. Did you ask if he wanted to go? Was he unable to go or just unwilling? If he was just unwilling then yes, he is being unreasonable. Try talking to him about spending so much on his sister. He should not be spending money on her if he feels like there is no money for the children. They should come first and their fun should come before her visits.
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:22 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I'm OP. He didn't go because, ironically, he was waiting for his sister to get here!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I am a little confused about the details, specifically the first sentence- "is it unfair in some way that Dh threw a fit that we didn't have money to take the girls to the zoo today " Is he upset that y'all are low on money and you spent $20 or is he upset that you spent money? Either way, you really need to talk to him about this. Either set up an allowance for each of you to spend the money as you please, or set up an entertainment budget. But please talk to your husband about this and work together to set up a fair budget that is within your means and is fair to both of you.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 3:24 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • It depends upon if you have your own job or not.... If you don't and you are a SAHM, then yes, he is correct. He controls and owns the money... you don't. If you want your own money, you have to earn it... That's the way it is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • JeremysMom. I took it to mean that HE is saying that there is not enough money but he has the money to support his sister every weekend when she comes to visit. If he has the money for her then he should have the money to take his children to the Zoo. If I took it wrong OP, I am sorry.
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • your dumb anon :31. shes is partner, not his slave. that means partner in everything including family finances

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Answered at 3:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 by: Anonymous
    Anonymous
    It depends upon if you have your own job or not.... If you don't and you are a SAHM, then yes, he is correct. He controls and owns the money... you don't. If you want your own money, you have to earn it... That's the way it is.

    This is the most ignorant thing you could have said. I am a SAHM. I have a job, it is to take care of my home, my children, and my husband. I work very hard and any money that comes in is OUR money. Its called marriage. What you are suggesting went out in the 50's.
    JEAmom3

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 3:37 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Yes that is wrong. At the same time, it sounds like you guys don't have an agreement on what to spend your money on. Try getting on a written budget and figure out how much (if any) you can afford to give to your SIL and how much you can have to spend on you and your daughters.

    Check out the Dave Ramsey group on cafemom for more help with a budget :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Anon :31 - WTF? Seriously? Thank God I didn't marry your husband. I think being a SAHM more than earns you the right to spend money without having to ask permission (within reason). I'm not saying I can run out and buy a brand new TV without my husband's okay, but I can spend money on myself and it's no big deal. As long as we have the money. Which being that I take care of all the bills, I know how much extra money there is.
    As for the OP, I agree with what Jeremy'sMom said.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 6:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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