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In Need of IMPORTANT HELP... State of CA and parental rights

My 3 yr old son has recently made it known that he thinks his father hates him and is angry at him it's why he doesn't come see him. He hardly sends me money if ever. Out of 3 years I'm lucky if I've even gotten 2 G's . In the last 19 months he's only seen his kid twice. He lives in San Diego, CA and I live in San Jose, CA. I would like to have his rights removed as I feel like it will be better to cut him out of my son's life as he is such an absent father. I want to do this so I can file for child support. He's told me if I file for Child Support he'll fight me for custody... Please help how or what do I need to do to file to have his rights removed?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You can't terminate his parental rights and go after child support. If you terminate his rights he is no way, shape or form legal bound to the child. You can try for sole custody and then go for child support. Or you could just go for child support. If he's been such an absent father no court will grant him residential custody. He can huff and puff, and try to fight all he wants, ain't gonna happen. Hell, even involved father's have about a snowball's-chance-in-hell of getting custody changed over once it's established.

    Answer by desert_diva at 3:25 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • *legally*

    Answer by desert_diva at 3:27 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Thanks. I thought I'd read somewhere that in CA you can still get Child Support if his rights are taken away.... I'm hazy on all this stuff. I'm nervous because my nieces father was MIA for her first 5 years now I'm watching my sister go through hell with him... I hate how he hurts my son and breaks all his promises to come see him ... yet threatens to take him from me because I need the financial support

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I am so sorry that you and your son are going through this. The only way he would have to pay you child support, is if you have a child support case already against him and he owes money... I don't think you can file for it after his rights are terminated because he would no longer be responsible for taking care of your son.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 3:36 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • If they have an arrearage when their rights are terminated you can go after that, even after termination, because it was aquired while they were still responsible for the child.

    Relax. Like I said, let him huff and puff all he wants. It's all empty threats. No court is going to take your son away because you want him to get the support he deserves from his father. You're best defense is a good offense. Find all the statutes for your area(State and County because they can vary from county to county...Google 'child custody, your state, your county' ). Learn them like the back of your hand, and live by them. That way he can't scare you, or bulldoze you. You'll know the facts and just be able to laugh it off.

    Answer by desert_diva at 3:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Thanks I will definitely do that... didnt think to google by state and county i thought it was all state wide

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • There is no way on earth that he could possibly take custody away from you after not being in his life for so long. Even at best, if he was a good and present father the most he could ever hope for is 50/50 custody.
    Don't let him scare you! I know it's easier said then done because I was afraid to persue CS for about 7 years until I finally contacted a lawyer and they told me that no way in hell does he have a leg to stand on. Maybe it could ease your fears if you called and talked to a lawyer and ask if he can take custody from you, and find out how much it would cost for an attorney if at some point you felt like you needed one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • In my situation... he owed money through child support and when his rights were terminated, they gave me the option to drop money owed or pursue it... I dropped it. Maybe you should file for child support anyways... threatening you isn't going to help him in court... document everything he says to you.

    I would go talk to a lawyer and see what your options are and find out what one will work best in your favor. There is no way that he can take your child away from you, you have been the provider and he has been the deadbeat .


    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 4:02 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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