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are there any moms on here against AP?

I started using cafemom when i first found out i was pregnant but left very quickly after being accused of being a 'troll' because i was 19, pregnant, christian and unmarried(i am married now). so i'm back to try again after using another mom site that is frustrating me because literally 90% of the moms there are very extreme in their parenting beliefs and i have a hard time getting any answers to any of my parenting questions because they all follow attachment parenting and every time i ask a question i just get chewed out, called a bad parent, etc. for not believing the same thing as them. so any moms on here that don't follow AP or are the majority of moms on here following it as well?

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Asked by wifeyschlegel at 3:53 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (34)
  • Well, I don't "follow" anything. I parent the way I see fit. I don't CIO, but I didn't "wear" my baby 24/7 either. I held her for almost the entire first 3 months of her life, but because she wouldn't let me put her down . . . not because I read somewhere that I should. I go by my instincts in most cases....not what some snooty moms say they do.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 4:02 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • AP style parenting has it's good points and it's bad points IN MY OPINION. Children need to learn to self comfort IN MY OPINION. Babywearing, co-sleeping parents often complain down the road..."I can't put her down and walk away for a minute without her screaming " or "How do I get my 3 year old out of my bed?" Both are a direct result of AP.
    I'm sorry other women ran you off the first time. Ignor the BS. Avoid those that jump all over you. Find a group to join that most closely matches tyour parenting style.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • Ditto Bridget, I do what feels right and most times that falls within the characteristics of AP. I agree with most of it, but I'm not super crazy about it. We co-sleep, I BF, I do not cry it out and I don't spank...I also never wore my children, but when they were babies, I carried and held them as much as possible.

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I have had the opposite experience on line and off. I like many of the attachment parenting techniques but they are not the only philosophies I invest in. Most people do a little of everything. If your parenting style works for you and your child then have confidence in your abilities, knowledge, and intuition.


    Answer by frogdawg at 4:27 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • like what, am not an ap parent am in the middle.

    Answer by piwife at 4:47 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • "Babywearing, co-sleeping parents often complain down the road..."I can't put her down and walk away for a minute without her screaming " or "How do I get my 3 year old out of my bed? Both are a direct result of AP."

    All types of parents make these complaints whatever their parenting style. I've read numerous times "my baby will only stop crying when I hold her; what do I do?" You could put your child in a crib from birth and still have a "problem" down the line of them wanting to be in your bed.

    I parented my children the same, but I could not put down my first for a second the first six months while my second was content to hang with dad for awhile. And wanting to change sleeping arrangements does not mean one was previously doing something wrong.

    Both my children now run off without looking back outside the home while others are barnacles on their parent's leg.


    Answer by happytexasCM at 4:54 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I'm against it for US. I'm not against it for those who wish to do it....but I also don't want to hear their problems which can be directly traced TO it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • i think you should worry baout how others parent,. i spank, i vaccniate, bf, i ff, cosleep and i dont cio why cuz i how i choose to parent. i really give a crap how others raised their kids

    Answer by piwife at 5:11 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • shouldnt sorry lol

    Answer by piwife at 5:11 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I think like everything else, there needs to be a balance when it comes to this issue. I believe that's the healthiest way to go about it. I'm a SAHM and have my son in my arms most of the time. However, there are times when he isn't, and he's fine with that.There ARE things that have to get done, and for that reason, it's not always safe to have him in my arms. I don't let him CIO necessarily, but sometimes I wait a couple of minutes before running to him. Babies need to learn how to self-soothe sometimes...most Dr.'s will tell you that. Sometimes my son will start crying in the middle of the night, having nothing to do with pain, hunger, diapers, or discomfort. I'll let it go for a minute or two, and he stops. Other times, he won't, and I'll go pick him up or comfort him by rubbing his head. Usually rubbing his head and talking softly soothes him. Regardless, I'm sick of the judgmental mothers here who think they're better.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 5:27 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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