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Who was in the wrong?

I asked my MIL to put her beer into a cup rather than drink it out of the can because I had company over that was a recovering alcoholic and I didn't want them to feel uncomfortable in my house. She said that he would just have to get over it because alcohol is every where (no one in our house hold drinks, she is a guest too).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think she needs to respect your rules and your company in your house... IMO, I think she is in the wrong.
    ProudMom_5703

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • She's wrong.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 6:17 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • shes wrong. That is totally rude and inconsiderate.
    pinkgemini85

    Answer by pinkgemini85 at 6:20 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • She is wrong. Tell her do as I say or leave.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I had a similar problem with smoking (no way to hide it but...). The person said "if they're gonna quit they're gonna quit, all smokers can't hide from them for the rest of their lives".
    In a way I agree, but in another, it's always best to ask the person who's a recovering X if it's going to be uncomfortable to them. Some of them don't want people to make exceptions because of them.
    Me... I'd have done as you asked and at the very least put it in a cup but your friend would smell it on her breath if they had any personal conversation with her. It's kinda like a previous smoker I'd think, the smell is very very strong after you're no longer using.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • your house. your rules
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 7:13 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • She was wrong...and honestly, if anyone had any courtesy about them...they would just do away with the beer and chew some gum to hide it the best they could. Yes, recovering addicts have to live in the real world...BUT...a lot of that is about not putting yourself in a bad situation. A recovering alcoholic wouldn't be advised to walk into a bar knowing temptation would be all around. And if she didn't know alcohol would be present during her visit, it's not fair to have it around unexpectedly if the woman would prefer to stay away from it. I think you were being considerate and the very least she could have done was put it in a cup. You pay the mortgage, you make the rules!
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 7:19 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I feel like if you nicely asked her to do something she should have honored your request even if she didn't agree with it. I wouldn't let it cause a huge fight in the family, but she should have respected your wishes in your home.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:47 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • It is pretty insensitive of your MIL, especially since it's in your own home! But at the same time, a recovering alcoholic is going to run into temptation at some point, and maybe your home could be a safe place to start having to resist that temptation.
    KingKai0517

    Answer by KingKai0517 at 1:32 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

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