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Discovered girls

My 13 yr old son is in the 8th grade and he has recently discovered girls. He has a gf who he says hes sooo in love with and they have been together for alittle over a month. He has been failing a few of his classes and one of them his gf is in class with him. He teacher emailed me saying she can tell that having a gf is affecting his grades cause hes not doing his class work or homework. Any suggestions on what I can do to make him focus more on his work and not his gf?

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butterfly7909

Asked by butterfly7909 at 7:16 PM on Nov. 8, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i wouldnt allow him to hang out with her outside of school until his grades are up, and limit his phone time with her tell him when his grades go up he can earn back time to spend with her
    Riosmommy

    Answer by Riosmommy at 7:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I'd say no phone time and other privileges until his grades are up. Personally, I would continue talking with teachers and not allow the happy couple to spend time together outside of school. I remember my mother and one of my high school boyfriends' mothers would plan our "couple time" around family time, extracurriculars, and homework.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • id tell him she cant be ur girlfriend anymore until u get ur grades up, he wont understansd that u dont have that power.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:39 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I would make a rule that until homework is done and he shows it to you even if he "did it in study hall" he has no phone or computer and cannot go anywhere or have someone over. Making it until his grades are up is too long term and you don't know until reports come if he was actually doing his hw.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

  • I wouldn't say anything to him about his girl friend, that might make him want to be with her more. Just take away his phone and ground him on the weekend, make it so that he has no contact, except for shcool with this girl. Eventually the love will fade away.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 6:38 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • Limit his contact with her outsside of school. At 13 mine weren't allowed to have girlfriends outside of school. They couldn't talk on the phone with them, they didn't have the internet access that some teens today have and it never affected their school work. School girlfriends came and went like the seasons.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • The girlfriend isn't the issue - it's his grades. If you start fighting with him about the girl it's going to be a never ending battle. Ground him until he gets his grades up - no phone, no going out, etc. When he figures out that him spending time with this girl is contingent upon his grades, he will get them up!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

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