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If your husband left but never divorced....

If your husband left you for another woman 26 years ago for another woman. And then he died and you found out you were never divorced, would you accept social security checks as his legal wife? Keep him mind he has no biological children by the other woman. There are stepchildren. But you have two children by him. And he never paid for child support when you and the kids needed it. My mother is put in this situation. Personally I would not accept it on moral grounds. He cut his ties with us 26 yrs ago and I want nothing for him. My mother feels she is owed something from him.

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SalemWitchChild

Asked by SalemWitchChild at 11:44 AM on Nov. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,594 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I could go either way on this, honestly I think it is up to your mother. She has every right to accept it, but of course she may not feel entitled to it, but it's up to her.
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 11:45 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • Uhh... she IS owed something. She may not NEED the money now, but if it will make her life a little easier then she has the right to it. He screwed her over ROYALLY.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:46 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • Heck YES I'd take the money. Moral issues doesn't pay the bills or buy food. I'd have no moral issue with it myself. I'd just say thank you each month I received that check!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:49 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I would take it. It's not like he's coming back to claim it. However, that woman could challenge your mom getting the money somehow since she was with him for 26 years.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:50 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • But she has a husband (however not legal since she just found out she isn't divorced) to take care of her. Things are tight, but she's not exactly living off scraps either. And both of us kids are grown. I'm not certain where his other family stands financially. but we was an actual father to them all those years. I just think the money should go to them.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 11:54 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I would want to be absolutely certain that accepting the money was 100% legal. I guess that would mean having to pay a lawyer to find out. If there are no legal reasons why it isn't hers, then I think it would be completely okay.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:55 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • btw, When I was 15 my mother sued my father for child support. One of the courts decisions was that my father was suppose to divorce my mother after that. She never saw papers on the subject. And a month before my father died he admitted to my brother he never did file those papers.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 11:55 AM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • As his legal wife and the mother of his biological children, she is fully entitled to his social security checks.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 12:05 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I think your mom should take the SS. She is legally his wife, she deserves it. She raised his two children, with no help from him. She def. deserves it! She has every legal right to it.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 12:36 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • IF she marries the man she has been thinking she was married to all these years, then she wouldn't get her late ex husband's ss checks anyway.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:29 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

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