Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I fully forgive?

I've been trying to forgive my ex-boyfriend so I can move forward and find happiness again. It's hard because he was being such an insensitive jerk. I have been praying about it and reading about forgiveness, but I still feel like I am holding on to some of the hurt. I feel like this has effected my self-esteem because he hurt me so much. Any suggestions on how to move to a place of peace? I've heard "Let go and let God", but I still feel the sting of anger inside even after praying.
I don't want bitterness to take root in my heart so I would appreciate any suggestions.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Nov. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • How about remembering that people are human and everyone makes mistakes?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • How long have you been apart? When did you break up? If it was fairly recent, you will get over it, time heals everything.

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 2:46 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • they say time heals all wounds. I don't know if thats so true. I've been apart from my ex for almost 3 years I'm married in love and have 2 kids but I still have a love for him. Forgivness is hard, espcailly when your hurtin so bad. My advice is when you remeber things write them down then burn it but make sure you've let it go.....or go punch something or hell just go in a closet and start screamin and crying. but after the fit remeber God will help you through it.

    Answer by rebel07 at 2:56 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I am having the same problem. I try not to think about him and what he has done or said to me but I just can't seem to let it go even though I am happier being without him. Finally, after two years, I told him I could never be with him again and now I am having to deal with the aftermath and memories. I want to move on so bad but I don't know where to begin.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can find a way to get through this.

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 3:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • What you are doing is allowing your x to still control your life. Is he worth it? Only you can decide that but once you decide that you've given him enough power and control over your life then you can let go and see what wonderful things life has for you. It's normal to have thoughts of him but according to the book How To Fall Out of Love, every time you think of him use some sort of behavioral modification like thinking of something else or think of him in a silly way (such as wearing a diaper and walking through traffic). The idea is to break the serious thought of him and realize you are thinking about him again and stop it. Some ppl use a rubber band around their wrist and snap it. Whatever helps, do it so you can concentrate on you and a future of happiness.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:57 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • that people are human and everyone makes mistakes

    That statement is saying that no matter how the person will acts they will be forgiven in the end because they are human and everyone makes mistakes. It says that they aren’t taking responsibility for the wrong that they caused.

    It just takes time and for them proves themselves that they are worthly of trust again. Breaking that trust over powers the word love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I am working on this too and since you said you are reading about it you've probably already heard this piece of it...the thing about the forgiveness process that I personally feel is tripping me up is the part where you are suppose to forgive yourself for the role you played in it. Part of me does not want to even go there beause I was so wronged that it seems unfair. However, I am realizing that accepting my part in it, even if it was just for putting up for it longer than I needed to and lettting myself go in the process will go a long way in getting me where I want to be with the whole thing. Argh. It's so hard and I get it... You don't sound bitter to me by the way so I want to encourage you to keep working at it and asking God to work in your heart! We'll both get there!

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • The way it works for me is.... I have to forgive "FOR ME", not for them. I get to feel better and not carry the burden and anger. They key is I forgive, BUT, I never forget. For some reason, it makes a difference for me. I allow myself to forgive but I don't have to forget. Releasing the anger and hurt is worth it. Feel better.....

    Answer by Noodlebug713 at 12:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.