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So lost in confusion

Someone help. I am divorced in a good relationship with a good man. I have a son by my ex-husband and over the past 2 years my ex and i have been on bad terms. well about 2 months ago he started to be nice and sweet. basically the man i fell in love with 10 years ago. The past 3 drop offs he and i have stood outside our cars and talked for 30-45 min. not just about our son but everything. Last night he says i want to meet with you to talk about things. i said ok but since we have a restraining order its kinda hard. (Stalking, I over reacted) we can communicate by email only and i said to him since its not directly related to our son i will email you from one of my other accounts. i do and now today we have exchanged a few emais includingBunny, Meet me on TUESDAY night around 7 at pricechopper... Hope to see you there
and wear something nice. Bear. I am so lost. i dont know what to think now


Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Nov. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I just learned the hard way... the whole "an ex is an ex for a reason"... do not do this. Don't let temptation get the best of you. Don't throw away what is good now for something that wasn't good then in hopes that it will be better in the future.


    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 4:28 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • You never mention why you divorced...but I don't think a restraining order for stalking is necessarily an overreaction.

    But there's not enough here to go on.

    So...all I can say is, remember WHY y0ou divorced. Those things WILL NOT have changed, no matter how he acts now. Sounds like he wants what he can't have.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:58 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I think hes trying to have some power over you. Why now that you have a new man is he getting so "nice". Id keep your distance and respect the restraining order. YOu too could get into trouble for violating it. Dont blame yourself either. Whether you overreacted or not there is a reason the restraining order was granted. I would not meet up with him. If things were bad before they will most likely get worse. Just keep your strength and dont fall into his trap. Its just a game. Be happy with your new guy and keep this one in your past. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 3:59 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • and if someone caused you to act a way that you normally wouldnt then you dont need them in your life. They are toxic

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • we divorced because of Child protective services. They told me that if i did not divorce him because he posed a potential threat (his mom called and lied big time about him claiming he was hitting us beating the kids, etc which is not true. he never laid a hand on me or my kids) we had a good mariage and the restraining order is because i over reacted to him driving by a few times in a month.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • Exes are Exes for a reason. i would keep it that way. You should not meet him. im sure you have had to fight in court and you are in agood relationship. I would email back and tell him you cant meet him and put a wall back up. Focus on moving forward.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:05 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • If you go you will invalidate the restraining order. There is a reason he's an x. Mine used to try to get me to meet him but then when I would it turned ugly so I stopped doing it. Just be careful

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:07 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • Please use your head and not your heart. If it didn't work the first time, chances are it won't work again. There had to have been a reason you "over reacted" and there is a reason you are ex's.
    Please don't let him rope you in with sweet words that just come out of the blue.
    And his family sounds like they have some major issues as well. Please don't let yourself be caught back up in something that's so toxic.

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:18 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I hope you are not thinking of cheating on the man you are with now. did you tell your boyfriend your ex wants to hook up. really think about it.. if you do down this road your new relationship is pretty much over.. some people are our past for a reason.. you said you are with a good guy,.. why not see where that goes.. .

    Answer by TaiM at 4:25 PM on Nov. 9, 2009

  • I've been here and taken back the stalker way more times than I care to admit. While I don't know all of the details on your situation, I can tell you that I personally could have saved myself a LOT of heartache if I had cut all emotional ties with my stalker far sooner than I did. Best of Luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Nov. 9, 2009