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My 2 1/2 yo son has started hitting us when he does not get his way. We have tried time outs but getting to stay there is a whole other battle. Any words of wisdom would be great!

We do not want to spank or hit back but time out is a struggle so, . . Any ideas?

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Asked by Erin3616 at 12:28 AM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (9)
  • sorry, i was going to suggest a light slap on his hand and a firm no hitting mommy while looking in his eyes. but you dont want to spank, so i guess you can just try the last part of my advice. my ddhit me once and he got hit on his hand and she never did it again, shes' now a teenager and she's very loving, has never gotten spanked since that one day 13 yrs ago and she is very respectful. you have to let them know that you are the boss of the house and needs to show you respect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I disagree, with the smacking the hand back. My son thinks that it is a game if you do that. Try having your child take a timeout in their room instead of a corner where they can see people.

    Answer by Familygal81 at 12:37 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I have four kids and believe me you need to get his butt in timeout. I dont like to spank mine either. I dont understand the logic of hitting them for hitting. But in my house I put them in timeout and tell them when they are dne screaming or throwing a fit then I will start the timer. So I would have your son in for 2.5 minutes. Of course he is going to throw a fit too. I would tell him in the morning that there is no hitting and he will get a timeout, then designate a spot. Either the same chair or someother place they know where to go to. Just be consistant. I also count to three and I tell them the consequence ahead of time. so I would say "Tyler you need to pick upi your toys now." then he will tell me no so I would say "Ok I am going to count to three and if you are not picking them up by then you will get a timeout."

    Answer by stickyfingers at 12:40 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Look in his eyes, and tell him No, Do not hit Mommy or Daddy! It's not respectful, and it's not nice to hit. You can always send him to his room every time he hits. Then call him down in 3-5 mins. My friend does that with her 3 yr old son, it works every time! or u could act all upset, and hurt, so he wont do it. Then he will say I'm sorry Mommy.

    Answer by Hesmynavyman at 12:42 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Dont let him see you throwing emotion into it or else he will keep doing it to see your reaction so no guilt tripping like the PP said. Just state the facts: "Hitting is wrong and you will get ***insert discipline here****

    I dont spank and hitting on the hand never worked for my son. When he went through that stage, (some moms may disagree with this, but it worked AMAZINGLY well) I would grab his hand and GENTLY squeeze it while I told him "No Hitting." I wouldnt squeeze it enough to hurt him, more just so it was uncomfortable for him and not longer than it took to say "No hitting." Sometimes he got embarrased and other times he just walked away but he always listened and the phase was short.
    He is younger though and I didnt feel he was ready to understand time out. You will have to read your child. I hope that someday time out will be efficient.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 2:27 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • When my daughter hits, she loses the use of her hands. I hold her hands, at the wrist, down by her side and don't let her move them. I tell her that behavior is not appropriate and that hands are not for hitting. She doesn't get her hands back for at least 1 minute. She hates it. When I let go, I ask if she's going to hit again and she always says no and doesn't for a while -- usually a couple of weeks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • My son is the same age and does the same thing. Timeouts are a bit of a joke because he thinks it's funny for us to keep putting him back. When he hits, tell him no and try reminding him he needs to be gentle rather than telling him not to hit. I found that every time I reminded him not to hit, he promptly hit! Telling him to be gentle reminds him of what he's suppose to be doing. On timeouts, we first try our standard spot and put him back a couple of times. If he doesn't seem to get the message, we strap him in his booster seat and put it in the middle of the room away from everything. Last resort, we put him in his room for a couple of minutes. After doing that once or twice, I can now just threaten to do it and he sits in his timeout spot. One caution: we don't put him in his room often. Not sure he can tell the difference yet between punishment and bedtime..

    Answer by momofryan07 at 9:31 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • If she is really screaming her head off I hold her facing me on my lap with her legs around my waist. We talk about I understand you are upset because of ----- but we dont hit. we can give a hug and talk it out. she used to hit now she comes and sits on my lap ans we talk about what happened to make her upset. If disapline is needed then I suggest timeouts. I dont believe in spanking. Because as they get older a light slap wont affect them.I put my daughter in time out. 1 min for every year. While she is in time out we talk about what she did that she wasnt supposed to do and then I ask if she is going to do it again. Later if she is doing something she isnt supposed to be doing I say do you want a time out. she says no and stops what she is doing. Just remember that children cant fully express themselfs yet and if they do they dont know how to properly. If my daughter hits I saw that hurts we dont hit we can tickle instead

    Answer by armyprincess811 at 11:56 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • You have to be consistant with the time out. When you put him in time out you explain to him why he's there. If he gets up, then you put him right back into time out without saying a word. And everytime after that you take him back without saying a word. Whether it takes 5 minutes or an hour, you must be consistant and make sure that he eventually stays there for the time out. If you don't, then he will not take that as a punishment. You will be rewarding him for his behaviour by letting him off the hook. Believe me, I understand how frustrating it can be and am in no way trying to make it sound simple. However, it is important, very important, that you keep at it. Also, don't give him the attention he wants by continuing to yell at him to behave when you're giving him a time out. Don't threaten time out over and over either. Give one warning and then toss him into time out. He'll understand that you mean business soon enough.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:35 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

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