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I made a move on my boss and now things are totally weird...

My boss and I were friends before he got promoted. Recently, he has really been flirting with me a lot and there was a lot of sexual tension. He even made a comment about it at one point. I am very attracted to him, and finally got up the courage to make a move on him. He shot me down, BAD.

Firs tof all, I have never been shot down. Ever. Second of all, I didn't know how to react to the situation, and was so embarassed that I pretty much made a fool of myself. I was VERY pushy and tried to convince him that it was a good idea. He just kept telling me "I like getting a paycheck, it's not going to happen".

So now, things are totally weird. He is treating me different and I don't know how to react to him. I don't know what to do. Should I apologize? Pretend it didn't happen? Try pursuing things again? I really think he wants to hook up, but is afraid of losing his job. Ugh, I dont want things to be weird, any suggestions?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Yikes, just get it out in the open, ask him out for coffee and say that you were getting mixed signals and you don't want to cause drama at work, just let bygones be bygones,,,,, I know how uncomfortable you must feel, and it is better to deal with it than end up fired because he feels weird--good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:07 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I think you should act like it didn't happen. It's unfair for him to flirt with you and then turn around and say he doesn't want to lose his job. In that case, he sholdn't be flirting in the first place. I think you should keep the way you speak to him on a professional level and if he decides to make a move outside of work then so be it. Plus, the more you act uninterested the more they want you. ;)

    Answer by vnw1405 at 10:08 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I would act like it never happened. be yourself like nothing happened. He can dish it but can't take it huh. what a baby!! Don't be upset. act like it never was said. He will be happy for that and prob want you more

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 10:09 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Yes - leave him alone! He's made it clear to you that he's not willing to risk his job for you. He's been clear about how he feels - respect that. It sounds like you're being overly sexually aggressive towards him. You're risking YOUR job as well. I'm at a loss why you'd even think continuing to pursue it would be an option...delusional much? MOVE ON.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I would apologize for not taking no for an answer and let him know it won't happen again. You sound very concieted and could have been misreading his signals. He also could have been just being nice since you were flirting with him. Not every man wants you and most men don't want to lose their job over a piece of ass which is all you would be to him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Just forget about it. Act like nothing happened. If he senses weirdness from you, he'll act weird in return.

    Answer by Kays_Mama06 at 10:30 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • You definitely should apologize to him and start looking for another job. There are some men who flirt just for the sake of flirting and they really don't want it to go any farther than that. That's why smart women wait until the gentlemen ask them out instead of taking matters into their own hands, so to speak. One of the ways a woman can tell if a guy is looking for a wife is to let him come looking for her. My daughter once taught me this principle more directly than anyone has ever spoken it. She was a very moral young woman and she said to me, "Mom, guys want to marry a girl like me, but they want to date the other kind." She was a virgin when she married at the age of 31. So, this guy you hit on may be one of those who is looking to be married and who wants to pursue his own lady. If that's the case, he's not likely to change his mind about you and I wouldn't risk trying again. I'd be embarrassed as all get out.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:35 AM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Just forget him. I am sure he has flirted with other administrative staff and what not. He sounds like a player and I think he liked you. But he is trying to play the holier than thou card at work. How typical.Just blow him off and keep your job. Every day will get easier and easaier. Trust me. In fact, he will probably have the nerve to try it again in the months to come if you ignore him. Like I said it is not worth quitting your job.GL.

    Answer by bella69147 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 10, 2009