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What am I supposed to do!? I need help!!!

I want so desperately to be a SAHM. I want to be there for my children. My mother was never there for us kids growing up, and I want to set a better example for my children on the importance of being a family and acting like one.

The problem is that I have so much that I owe in student loans. My husband is going to school at the moment. I am sure all of you understand the financial burdens part. What am I supposed to do. Even with my degree I don't seem qualified for much of anything. Either I don't have the Master's that everyone wants me to have (and I do not plan on getting one at this point) or I have the wrong type of degree. I feel useless. I feel like I have done a huge disservice to my family by creating such a large amount of financial strain, and now I can't even help to make it better. What am I supposed to do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Call your student loan company and ask about loan deferment. If you're behind, you may need to catch up before they'll defer them, but since your hubby is currently in school, they may be able to do something for you.

    Some of the loan companies will also defer based on hardship. If you can prove that you're currently in over your head, or that paying the loan causes undue financial stress for your family, they could put the loan off.

    You'll still need to pay the loans eventually, this just gives you some breathing room for the time being.
    kestrelscall

    Answer by kestrelscall at 1:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Have you signed up with a lot of temporary agencies? I'm a sahm. I know a lot of moms who work outside their homes who are fantastic great moms and I have a lot of friends who are stay at homers.
    But what makes a great mom is one who's attentive to kids' emotions - if you're working outside the home then email or text with your kids or a call once twice a day. Have them call your answering machine if you can't be home, your cell voice mail and leave messages about their day and homework. You can play them at the end of your day to know what to expect when you get home.

    I'm just saying a mom is what works to pay the bills with your husband, partner not just if you're at home always or not. I bet there's more moms working outside homes in America than stay at home moms.

    Also, send your child's teachers email every couple of weeks or so for updates if notes don't regularly come home.

    I've been a student wife too, hard!!
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 1:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • There are a lot of great ideas in the CafeMom Job Hunting Moms group: http://www.cafemom.com/group/jobhuntingmoms


    What kind of networking are you doing? Do you belong to any professional organizations? Is your Linkedin profile up to date? Do you have a current resume written in a human voice, or an old fashioned one written in meaningless corporate-speak?

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I understand you ultimate goal is to be a SAHM. That is what I was when my kids were little and them went back to work when kids were starting school. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Nobody was happy, not the kids, not my husband and definitely not me. Can I tell you about how I went about quitting and staying home? I did start a home business and I can tell you, that was the smartest thing I did. I still work 10-20 hours per week, however when it is convenient for my family and around my kids schedule. I make more than my initial goal of "Marshall's money". Every month my paycheck gets bigger and bigger. Please PM me and I will send you my phone number to call me and you can at least find out if this is a fit for you, or at least a blessing for someone you know. Look forward to hearing from you.
    marywoz

    Answer by marywoz at 2:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Which part are you needing help with? The financial planning or making something? And many with degrees have this problems. Jobs are just not secure. education alone does not provide for a family.


    You may want to look into our services for debt management, also there is some life coaching available.


    You can make money on the side also if you are interested in that. http://www.YouAreACeo.com/Success4me

    IraqiVetWife

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 2:25 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I make extra money working online. I've cleared over 14k in the last year, it's not a way to get rich, but you can avoid retail/fast food jobs by doing it. You can see what I'm doing at http://www.freewebs.com/free2workathome/ if you're interested. (Everything posted is free)

    customcat2000

    Answer by customcat2000 at 2:47 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Find a job Sweetie. SAHM are going to be all out of luck in a few years. Jobs are scarce. FREE money will not be available much longer. All SAHM are going to have to get out there and work. Do you remember history about the wars? During WWII the women, all WOMEN, had to go out and find jobs to help support their families. That is precisely what all women should be doing now. Too many are sitting back enjoying staying at home sitting on their butts. They will be screwed eventually when there are no jobs and NO FREE money!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I POSTED THIS AND I DO NOT JUST SIT ON MY BUTT THANK YOU!!! I WORK HARD AROUND THE HOUSE TO KEEP THINGS IN ORDER AND TO RAISE MY DAUGHTER WITH MORALS AND VALUES!!! THAT IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR HALF OF THE PARENTS IN THE WORLD TODAY!!! THAT IS WHY I PLAN ON HOMESCHOOLING, TO MAKE SURE SHE IS ABLE TO HOLD ON TO THE GOOD OLD FASHION MORALS THAT YOU SEEM TO THINK ARE SO UNIMPORTANT!!! WHY HAVE A KID WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A CAREER!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I was a single parent and worked 2-3 jobs to get by. You have to do what you have to do. I would have loved to be a sahm but I had bills just as you do. I was still an excellent parent even though I worked. My daughter is 20 she is doing school online so she can work full time as a manager at a store to support herself. She has great values. I taught it to her by showing her that you do what you have to so you can pay the bills. You say you have student loans to pay and say you want to stay at home for your kids, maybe you should not have had kids until you had those loans paid then you could do what you want which is be a sahm. Teach your children responsibility not I want to do this or that. I understand sahm do work inside the home but when there are bills to be paid , get a job and pay the bills.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I was working to pay off my student loans. Birth control does not always work. Thank you. Excuse me for trying to have strong family values that society has thrown out the door.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

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